Blimey, isn't that habit is annoying? Documentary makers seem to think everyone has the attention span of a gnat. How come I can watch the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy in one sitting (bar loo breaks) but a documentary maker thinks I can't manage more than five minutes on the feeding habits of an otter? I hate that constant jumping back and forth - by the time the narrator finally gets back to telling me the baby otter has learnt to swim or the owl has ate its sibling I'm so fed up with the episodic interruptions I've cracked open a bottle of red and I'm painting my toenails.
And how chilly is the exposure? On a scale of 1-10?
You see, I'm curious because recently I've been having a recurring nightmare that I'm trapped in an Eskimo-like onesie and I desperately need the loo. In my dream I'm repeatedly trying to undo the onesie with frozen fingers and failing. It's awful. It's like the worst nightmare you could ever have - and I've had some pretty gruesome ones. There was the dream where I parachuted into France with a horse, another where I was in an a prop shop where they were selling fake corpses and another time where I auditioned for a role as Santa Claus in a Ricky Gervais movie.
It happens. Believe me. The menopause can do very strange things to you.
Previous posts: A is for Arses and Aidan Turner
B is for Bullshit
C is for Chinese Crispy Duck and the Conservative Party.
D is for Diarrhea, Dinosaurs and Depauperation
E is for Eulogy for the Earth
F is for Ferrero Rocher
G is for Guns and Girls