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Showing posts from January, 2011

Where have I been?

Yep, I guess you've been wondering where I've been? Yip, so have I. But I tell you what that spaceship was really wacko. I reckon if I replicate some of the interior I could easily make a killing at the next Ideal Homes Exhibition. Cos let's face it some people have more money than sense don't they? I mean who'd want a toaster shaped liked a bidet?

Yeah, alright I was telling untruths again. It's a bad habit. I wasn't captured by aliens. Although, to be honest being fed and watered and not having to do the the housework really appeals. I could put up with prodding and an intelligence test in exchange for a nice room and decent spread once a day.

On second thoughts...I suppose it might be false representation if I pretended I was a typical example of  life on planet earth. I mean, I have two legs and two arms but brain-wise there's not a lot going on upstairs at times. Know what I mean? Still, I guess if aliens took a look at me and thought that they co…

How do you gauge getting old?

So just how do you gauge when you're getting old?

Is it how many wrinkles you've got?

Is it when you get more aches and pains than you get birthday cards?

Is it when you have more dead friends than alive ones?

Is it when the doctor says There's nothing I can do. You'll just have to put up with it ?

Is it when your children ask you where do you keep your will?

Is it when you consider buying a Skoda because it's economical?

Is it when you go out to buy an evening dress and come back with thermal long johns?

Is it when you watch The Antiques Roadshow and realise you are actually older than most of the so called "antiques" on display?

Is it when you request a book at the library and the assistant directs you to the large print section?

Is it when you stop saying You'd never catch me dead wearing that and start saying That looks comfortable ?

No Dear Readers it is none of these. It is the middle of the night. I have insomnia exacerbated by a bad cold. I ju…

Teenage Sons, Insomnia and Day 5 of the Weight Loss Challenge.

Huh. I was going great guns with the diet and then on Day 5 I lost no weight. Nothing. Not even a flicker of movement on the Wii scales.

So I did only do 45 mins exercise instead of the 60 minutes BUT I should have lost at least half a stone through the worry of having a teenage son. Seems only fair doesn't it?

Yep, so late afternoon on Thursday Young Sam springs it on me he needs a lift to the local big town for a pub crawl. The journey there and back is the best part of an hour and en route we discuss how he is to get safely home. He proposes to catch the last train back with his mates just after 12pm and then two of them will share a taxi home. I say I will wait up till 12ish in case there is a problem with the train and then I will go to bed. The proviso is he is to ring me if there is a transportation problem as being a light sleeper/insomniac I am most likely to wake up at the sound of the telephone ringing or I'll be awake anyway.

So we get to town. I pull in and wait f…

Weight Loss Challenge Day 4 and a grumpy Mrs T in London

So the boys and I made it into London yesterday to see The Lion King which turned out to be a fantastic production. My boys were totally mesmerized - which is more than I can say for the young lad next to me who spent the entire time scoffing sweets, drinking fizzy pop and worse - breaking wind constantly after the interval. I tell you, I thought Young Sam's underpants were a deadly weapon but by the time that lad grows into a adult he is going to find it seriously hard to find a girlfriend. Yep, as soon as he goes out on his first date it'll be over cos no woman can take that kind of nasal assault for more than a minute. And as for kid behind me who kept kicking my chair.....

 Hmmm.

And the tourists who kept talking...

Arggggghhhh....

What is it with these people? Why pay a serious amount of money to go for a wondeful experience and then spend the entire time talking, eating and being a general nuisance to everyone around them?  I managed to put up with the kicking of the sea…

The Weight Loss Challenge Day Three

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Right, so after 3 full days on the diet I am 5lbs lighter. And I haven't even cut off my toenails yet - how good is that?!

I'm also suffering from no side effects like headaches, tiredness and queasiness as so often happens when starting a new dieting regime. In fact, I feel more awake than usual which is bizarre as I've added a hour of exercise each day which I haven't done on a regular basis since the clocks went back in October. I ought to be completely knackered  but I'm not -although irritatingly my insomnia has returned with a vengeance these past three nights and I've barely slept a wink. Now it could be my metabolism speeding up again and taking a few days to settle down or it could be I'm going to descend into another few months of the eternal sleepless hell. At the moment, I don't feel particularly tired so I'm coping well without the rest but that could change at any moment and by next week I could be wiggling my ears, talking gibberish a…

Mrs T's Weight Loss Challenge

Firstly, belated Christmas Greetings and my very best wishes for a Healthy and Happy New Year to you all.

So you want the good news or the bad news first?

Okay, so bad news is more interesting, so let's get that done with first...

Over Christmas I had a tummy bug. I'll try to put this diplomatically without offending those of you with delicate sensibilities....well you know the post I wrote here about being caught short. Well it was kinda like that - only on Christmas Day and I was just about to sit down for my roast turkey!

Now it could have been worse - I could have got the squits AND run out of loo roll. But I didn't. Hoorah!

Anyway, do you want some more bad news?

Yesterday, I started yet another diet. Groan. However, being the eternal optimist hopefully I will have more success than my Hot Dish Diet and my Mad Axeman Diet.

Yes, that's means Dear Readers you will be subjected to hideous accounts of my periodic starvation followed by even more hideous accounts of my…