Showing posts from February, 2009

Books and Cows. (Yep, it's one of those posts.)

Last week was half term here which means the Young Masters had to be entertained. So one day whilst Master Jacob and Master Ben were happily ensconced on a 5hr training course (Yippee) Master Sam and I shot off to that splendid place of culture which is otherwise known as Milton Keynes.
The object of the exercise was to secure Master Sam a new Xbox360 game so I didn't have to endure him sulking around the house for the remainder of the week. Unfortunately, Master Sam has the habit of being anxious to go home as soon as he has secured his purchase which means I have about 20 mins shopping time. Yeah, that's right ladies - Sam is a man in the making. He takes after his father who can spend an hour looking at screwdrivers but when it comes to looking at ladies wear has no interest whatsoever or invariably says that he doesn't like whatever it is I'm interested in. (Which is rather good for his wallet but alas not good for Mrs T's depression.)
Anyhow, whilst Master Sam …

Pancakes by celebrity chef in training, Mrs T.

Many of you will know that yesterday was Shrove Tueday, more commonly known as Pancake day which precedes the start of Lent in the Christian calender.

Regrettably, this means that I have to attempt to cook "pancakes" for the young masters. What's more they like to watch me which means I have to pretend to have a degree of proficiency which is clearly not an ideal situation.

But anyway I did it. And just for you folks out there who aren't familiar with the routine of pancake making. Here's how to do it.

1. Assemble your ingredients.

Oh come on - you didn't really expect me to make them without the aid of a packet mix did you?
2.Okay - put the contents of the packet mix in a bowl. Add one medium egg (chicken) and 17 fluid ounces of water. (Tap)3.Beat the mixture. I use a hand whisk - because I don't have an electric one.

4.Put the resulting mixture into a heated pan. Try not to dribble the batter everywhere. I kept my hob spotless! Also, I suggest using a little …

Music Mondays; Pick and Mix your Sweets!

The recession is starting to take a firmer grip here in the UK but even so we Brits can usually find something to keep us amused. In the news last week was story that a bag of pick “n” mix sweets from the now defunct Woolworths was for sale on Ebay and sold for a phenomenal £14,500. Of course collectibles, antiques and memorabilia can provide a good financial return but I’m not convinced that a bag of pick “n” mix will actually be a sound long term investment! However, as the proceeds are being donated to a charity, The Retail Trust, I’m optimistic that the purchaser will cough up the money in the name of a good cause and will scoff the sweets before they turn mouldy. Then it will be money well spent!

Anyhow, all these thoughts about sweets got me thinking of one my favourite glam rock groups and indeed one of my favourite groups of all time; The Sweet.

Whilst other girls were cooing over David Cassidy and Donny Osmond I was fascinated by The Sweet and especially Brian Connolly, the lea…

The Floating Shopper

Yeah, I've changed my blog colour again. I just can't help it, I'm one of those people who gets bored easily. That's why I'm a "Floating Shopper." In other words, I don't shop every week at the same place, I do wild fanciful things like shopping at Tescos one week, Morrisons the next, Aldi the week after and maybe I'll even throw in a quick trip to Asda just to get the adrenaline pumping.

Actually, to be honest, food shopping just bores me rigid- well until I get to the sweet aisle and then all of a sudden I feel a little bit more perky. Mmm.

Anyhow, I'd just like to point out that although my blog colours have changed quite a few times in the last year they don't change as frequently as supermarkets change the location of their products. One week I'm in aisle 6 for baked beans and then 2 weeks later they're in aisle 10. Not good. I like to get in and out of these places in break-neck speed and if I nip in for some bread I don't …

Singing in style

Yep, if you read my 100th post you'll know I 've as much chance of winning the X factor as Gordon Brown has at winning the next election. Zero.

But I certainly enjoy listening to those who can sing and yesterday one of my current favourites the Welsh singer Duffy picked up 3 gongs at the Brit Awards, the Bristish Rock and Pop awards. At the end of the evening she came away with Best Breakthrough Act, Best Female Solo Artist and Best Album for Rockferry.

She has quite a unique sounding voice and with a her welsh lilt she's a pleasure to listen to. Here she is performing Warwick Avenue live at The Brits....


Music Mondays; Through the Barricades

The news hot of the music press here in the UK is that 80s supergroupSpandau Ballet have finally buried the hatchet and are reuniting for a tour which will kick off aboard HMS Belfast where the band first performed back in 1979.

Spandau Ballet split up in 1989 after relationships between the band members began to deteriorate. All the Spandau Ballet songs, of which True is the most famous, were written by guitarist Gary Kemp. However, the other band members, excluding Gary's brother Martin, claimed that Gary had promised them a share of the royalties, a claim he subsequently disputed. The argument went to court and eventually it ruled in favour of Gary. This left the other band members facing huge legal bills and on the edge of financial ruin.

So it's not surprising that this reunion has come as a big shock to many despite the recent success of other 80s and 90s band reunions like The Police and Take That. Even their former boss at Chryslis records is quoted as saying 'Every …

A professional love story

A few weeks ago I popped round to my friend Miss L's house for a cuppa. Miss L had a few days off work and needed some guidance on how to maximize her cleaning efficiency and of course I felt it my duty to regale her with some useful household tips such as;

1. Tie dusters around your slippers and then you will never have to polish the kitchen floor.

2. Strap a broom to your head so you never have to consciously clean cobwebs from the ceiling.

3. Always wear rubber gloves. Not only will this keep your hands soft but you will be fully prepared for when the local MP calls round trying to solicit your vote. When he says "Can I holdyour baby?" You reply, "Thank God, I thought I was going to have to deliver it myself."

I guarantee your MP will leg it.

In addition, with a bit of rewording, the rubber gloves tip also works for unwanted tradesmen, canvassers and charity collectors.

However, it does not not work for a Jehovah Witness who will undoubtedly offer to assist you.( …

Valentine Oh Valentine (3)

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Valentine Oh Valentine (2)

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Valentine Oh Valentine! (1)

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MY 100th POST !!

Well this in the 100th post here on my blog The Witty Ways of Wayward Wife. So for all my loyal readers who have been curious to find out some of my more intimate details which I’ve kept under wraps here’s some absolutely fascinating and riveting facts about me. It should give you huge insight into the mind of the Housewife Extraordinaire.

Here we go;

1. As a teenager I once bought a pair of bright green trousers with large leaves on them. On showcasing them to my parents, my father looked slowly over the top of his glasses, put his hand his pocket and pulled out a ten pound note and handed it to me. He said nothing; words were not necessary.

2. I used to play a clarinet until some told me you were meant to make music with it.

3. I used to play the guitar …until someone told me you were meant to make music with it.

4. I declined to learn the piano… on the basis that someone might tell me that I should be making music with it

5. I used to have singing lessons; the teacher’s dog used to sit o…

Music Mondays; Mary's Prayer

Well I'm way behind with almost everything at the moment as the young masters were off school for four days last week with school closures and now more heavy snow is expected tonight. NO, NO, NO! It's a conspiracy to drive me bananas!

Hmm, okay. I may already be bananas. But let's face it I can't afford to get any worse. I don't want my relatives contesting my will when they discover I've left all my worldly goods to Britt Allcroft.

You may question why I would want to leave my assets to Britt Allcroft. But, hey it just tickled my fancy at the idea of the young masters discovering it when I snuff it. Revenge is kinda sweet isn't it?

So it's going to be quick(ish) posts this week. Here's an all time favourite song of mine from 1987 by the group Danny Wilson. It's a song which I feel has that rare ability to be both sad and happy at the same time.

And it always makes me think affectionately of my sister.

Ps The lunacy is coming later in the week! The n…

Ahhhhhhhh..... The Cat from Hell

As I write it is 3.55 am. I have been woken AGAIN by my cats. I have three cats, one is completely normal and the other two are stark raving mad. I mean seriously bonkers. They persecute me; I'm convinced that they consider it their duty to see if they can make me throw myself out of the window through lack of sleep. Which I may do just to rub their noses in it because if they think anyone other than me will put up with their lunatic ways they are sadly mistaken. Now how did I acquire the first of these two instruments of torture?

Okay, cat one Tigga (aka Beelzebub) was a gift. Yes, A GIFT.

Now please accept my advice -Never give anyone an animal for a gift because if the animal turns out to be a pain in the arse the recipient WILL HATE YOU FOR ALL ETERNITY! Yes, the next time I see my ex colleagues I'll be wearing my combats and holding my semi automatic.

So to elaborate, 2 days before my wedding back in 1991 I left a job I had been in for a some years and at the end of the day …

Music Mondays; It's snowing!

Hey, it snowing!

Here's a few piccys;

The view from our village green looking towards the nearby hills.

Master Ben goes sledging. Boy, is that kid trouble. Can't you just tell? The village church.I think we ought to hear something with a snowy feel this morning. So here's the wonderful Snow Patrol with Chasing Cars;

And if you're interested here's a short clip of London in the snow early this morning!

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