Have you ever had a day (or days) when you feel hacked off? Well I am having several. (About two weeks worth actually.) I seem to have a never-ending list of things to do and people and things that annoy me. From broken-down cars, annoying messages and telephone calls, even more annoying schools, frustrating tennis centres, dozy people who reverse into pedestrians, too much washing and ironing, unusual moles, weight gain, injured children, lost tennis matches, sore chicken bottoms....
Shall I go on? It's a pitiful tale. We could all be suicidal by the end of it.
Okay, I won't elaborate further.
Well not much.
Cripes, it's just well I don't live in Africa isn't it? I'd be really fed up then. Hmm...one must try to think positively. There is always
someone worse off than yourself.
Think Kim Kardashain's arse, Mrs Turley. It's just huge, isn't it? Yeah, I know people say it's sexy big but they're not fooling me. I have a big arse. I know the truth.
Blimey, I sound like a depressed writer
. I am going to self diagnose myself with bi-polar.
|Do not email me, text me, phone me or contact me in anyway unless you have good news as this is my current disposition which is made worse by the fact that having bought AVG Tune Up yesterday to speed up my PC Master Jacob has purchased a game which has been downloading for about 18 hours. My computer is now working so slow I am contemplating taking a hammer to either his PC or mine. Or both. By the way, I started this post at 8 am this morning.|
Luckily, writing is very therapeutic for me. I can let out a whole stream of
thought and I instantaneously feel better. So anyway, accordingly, this morning I thought I'd write some silly stuff and get myself back on track and just as I started writing the phone rings from Master Ben's school to wind me up some more. Gez. Gimme a break! I'd literally only just got over the text message from Master Jacob's school to tell me he was late to school - which I already knew as I dropped him there. Unbelievably, he did not fly, parachute or teleport himself to school - I dropped him there because we already have a prior arrangement for him being late because of his tennis and we were a couple of minutes later than usual. Really, is it necessary to text me about lateness two days before the end of term when everyone knows that for the last three weeks of term all they do is watch DVDs? Anyway, telling me he is a few minutes late is not going to make any
difference to whether or not he will be late again because if I want to go to the loo before I go out I darn well will go to the loo. Personally, I find it difficult to drive my car with my legs crossed and soggy knickers. Maybe teachers don't. Hmm. There's a question to ponder. Anyway, I thought about texting back to say I have a bowel disorder but to be honest I thought it would be lost on them. I just texted back and said "We were watching a DVD."
So now, where was I going with this? Oh yes, depressed writers. That's not me. I'm just an annoyed writer. (Verging on mania.) All will be good when I hear some nice happy news like the Duchess of Cambridge has given birth to triplets.
However, if I hear/read any more new about how many millions J K Rowling is going to make out of her book published under her leaked pseudonym I am going to listen to a Leonard Cohen album and gorge myself to death.