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Showing posts from July, 2012

The Insanity of Vanity

Apparently, some women have been reported as spending seventy dollars on sparkly green nail varnish which is the current fashion rage.

Don't these women know you can get the same effect with PVA glue and a tube of green glitter? And, if you buy a job lot on the kid's glitter, you can also have sparkly blue, red and gold nails.

 How cool is that?

Today, I will be mixing up all my glitter tubes for a multi-coloured glitter effect at the total cost of about ten pence. I like to consider myself a trend setter, you know.

Now just to enhance this piece of vital news I was going to insert a video of the infamous nail varnish from You Tube. However, I like to view videos before I use them and on seeing all the relevant videos were horrendously long (like 7- 10 minutes or so) I quickly came to the conclusion I would rather poke myself in the eye than waste ten minutes of my life. I then saw a video for about 2 minutes, debated whether or not to view it for about 0.000000000002 of a se…

It's the Holidays!

Notice that exclamation mark, Readers. They're cunning little things aren't they? You put one of those on the end of a sentence and it changes the whole meaning. Now if you look at the title above it kinda looks like I'm really happy and cheerful that the school holidays start at 12.35pm today. Precisely at 12.35pm. And not a minute before.

However, if I'd written;
It's the Holidays
You may have thought it was a pure statement - or even perhaps that poor Mrs T has wrapped a large coil of rope around the branch of a nearby tree and is straining her neck towards the sky.
You would be correct on the last assumption.
Oh the sweet joy of the school holidays.
God, I love irony. 
So over the next six weeks I will be doing my best to persuade my boys that; 
a) Haircuts really are a good idea.
b) They really do need a new pair of school shoes.
c) If just once during the day over the entire six weeks they could not urinate over the toilet seat I will die a happy woman.
So other …

Not In My Back Garden

Yesterday I pulled up my drive at 5pm. This is quite a busy time of day for me. This is the time when I am either coming in from afternoon tennis, going out to tennis or refilling the Young Masters stomachs in-between tennis. Yesterday it was the refilling the Young Masters' stomachs. So anyway one of my relatives (I hasten to add on my husband's side) turns up to collect some eggs but clearly also has the intention of telling me some very important news.

We are in the kitchen. I am making the obligatory cup of tea that I do on all social occasions. (Unless it's coffee obviously.)
"Have you heard?" says my relative in a flat, monotone voice and a face of deep gravitas.
"Oh yes," I say, thinking she is referring to something else. "Mr T told me several days ago."
"No... have you heard what I found in the back garden?" she says.

This time her face is so serious, her voice so dramatically full of tension that for a moment I am literally…