Friday, March 25, 2022

Are You Having A Laugh?

An ex-secret service agent with a personality problem and a desire for imperial glory.

An aged president who looks like he's got a giant fork prong stuck up his arse to keep him upright.

A floppy-haired bumbling classics graduate with a predisposition for crass decisions.

A tinpot dictator who showcases his weapons like a movie trailer.

A comedian who has found himself elevated to global status. 

If the world wasn't on the brink of war this surely would be the cast list of a first-class situation comedy.   

Friday, March 11, 2022

What Happened to My Wine Gums?

Since my post earlier last night, I've been sorting my books and CDs, which until recently have been still packed in my basement in my new home.

The basement (or glorified cellar if you wish) was one of the attractions of my new home - providing a place where I could hoard all my crap. I don't use the word "crap" lightly, as it would indeed be crap to most people. However, I rather like hanging onto my personal crap. Most of which is a multitude of books. Of course, my books were about the only things the Ex didn't request in the divorce settlement, so I still have them. Then again, maybe that's not surprising given his reading material mainly consisted of car manuals and supermarket receipts. 

God, I am so restrained. After 5 years of divorce hell, I don't know how I've managed to remain so diplomatic. Is there a Nobel peace prize for restraint in the face of a divorce? If so, I should definitely get it.  

Anyway, what I really wanted to say was - I'd been sorting out some books when I decided I had done enough work to give myself a treat. So I got out a packet of wine gums which are one of my favourite treats. This particular packet had grabbed my attention because it said "30 % less sugar" on the packaging. So I opened the packet and peered inside, hoping to spot a black or red sweet.

I was mortified.

I have deduced that the manufacturers have produced 30% less sugar sweets simply by reducing the number of sweets by 30%. 

I know it's a tough world out there at the moment, but that is pretty bloody miserly. So I say - send all those 30% less sugar packets to Russia and let the Duma experience real hardship. I reckon with no Big Macs and no decent wine gums to chew on Putin will be gone before the year is out. 

Thursday, March 10, 2022

Timely Reflections

Contrary to my post last year saying I was back in the writing business, my time writing on my blog has been limited. Mainly that's because after moving home, I started a new job with a national charity which subsequently sucked up all my time and energy. It left very little time for me to pursue my MA where I was not totally exhausted. So several weeks ago, I made the decision to leave so I could do myself justice in my MA. I was offered a part-time job in the cultural sector, which I accepted. 

The next day Russia invaded Ukraine. 

Several weeks later and 4 days into my new job, I've concluded I made the right decision even though a part-time job means I will have to live frugally at least until my MA finishes. I listen to the news and watch the terrible events unfolding in Ukraine, and my mind races through all the possible scenarios of how this war may play out. There is no end that does not involve the suffering of many people.

So today, I am grateful to be alive. To live in a country that upholds freedom and democracy. That I've survived a brutal divorce, a health scare, numerous stressful and exhausting jobs and escaped covid. I'm grateful I have a roof over my head, the opportunity to further my education, 3 wonderful sons and, hopefully, will live long enough to look back on these last few tumultuous years with philosophical eyes.

Tomorrow I begin the race to catch up on my MA. My first project, a short film script, needs tweaking, but it has been suggested it is good enough to make the grade. Fingers crossed. My second, a pilot for a sitcom needs committing to paper. The sequel to The Changing Room needs finishing, as does my psychological thriller. 

Time is of the essence. These last few weeks have shown that we never know what is around the corner. I'm just grateful that, in my case, it's not a tank or missile.  

My Nominees for the US and UK Elections and Other Waffle

It's the early hours of the morning, and I have had a large gin... Late-night alcohol is always a good recipe for writing gibberish. And...