Friday, September 15, 2017

Ideas, Please.

Okay, folks. Time to come out of the woodwork. I need ideas and themes to write about. Anything you fancy. Next week needs to be Humour Week on this blog so hit me with your ideas and I'll see what I can come up with.

Update: So I never got to write a Humour week. Unfortunately, life is just a little too complicated at the moment. However, feel free to list any ideas below so when my nightmare marriage is over I can get back to writing. I am hoping this will be before the end of the year.

Please God let that be the case so I can start the year afresh!

Friday, September 8, 2017

Still Alive and Kicking

Well the good news is I am still alive. I am also hideously bored at the moment at work so I am doing the inconceivable and writing a post. Unfortunately, my work hours are not the best and sometimes I have to work until 10.30pm. Not ideal as a now single parent. And whilst Master Ben is 16 he is not always the best at cooking himself tea.

Sadly, this is the legacy of a marriage breakdown.

Ah, well. I tried my best. And paid a heavy price.

Anyway, on lighter matters my lovely son, Jacob, left to go the US on Wednesday on a tennis scholarship. It's been an emotional few days as I am very close to my boys and whilst I was excited for Jacob that his new adventure was beginning, I was also very sad at his departure. Here's a picture of Jacob (on the left) and his friend James who were travelling together to Kansas. I've now been writing this blog for 10 years so if you remember Jacob as a small boy you'll probably be surprised at how he looks now!

On other matters, I am wondering if I should sign up to a dating site and amuse myself between customers. Thoughts anyone? However, if any of you ladies out there know any eligible single men who'd appreciate an overweight but, hopefully, entertaining humourist do send them my way. I'm not overly fussy - so long as they're taller than Tom Cruise and have a sense of humour I'm interested. (At my age I can't afford to be fussy. However, ending up with a fella shorter than Tiny Tom after years of ridiculing him would be the ultimate humiliation.)

Any other qualities I'm looking for? Hmm...

Must like frozen pizza.
Must appreciate the arts.
Knows how to balance a cheque book but doesn't have to be loaded.
Preferably looks good in Speedos and tinned spaghetti but if he can make me laugh I can make an exception.

So girls get looking for me. And any blokes dropping by drop me a comment in you're on the market. ( Keep it clean though -  I have a sensitive nature.)

Applications from senile multi-millionaires also welcome. Preferably with a heart condition.

My Nominees for the US and UK Elections and Other Waffle

It's the early hours of the morning, and I have had a large gin... Late-night alcohol is always a good recipe for writing gibberish. And...