Monday, July 22, 2013

Hacked Off

Have you ever had a day (or days) when you feel hacked off? Well I am having several. (About two weeks worth actually.) I seem to have a never-ending list of things to do and people and things that annoy me. From broken-down cars, annoying messages and telephone calls, even more annoying schools, frustrating tennis centres, dozy people who reverse into pedestrians, too much washing and ironing, unusual moles, weight gain, injured children, lost tennis matches, sore chicken bottoms....

Shall I go on? It's a pitiful tale. We could all be suicidal by the end of it.

Okay, I won't elaborate further.

Well not much.

Cripes, it's just well I don't live in Africa isn't it? I'd be really fed up then. Hmm...one must try to think positively. There is always someone worse off than yourself.

Think Kim Kardashain's arse, Mrs Turley. It's just huge, isn't it? Yeah, I know people say it's sexy big but they're not fooling me. I have a big arse. I know the truth.

Blimey, I sound like a depressed writer. I am going to self diagnose myself with bi-polar.



Do not email me, text me, phone me or contact me in anyway unless you have good news as this is my current disposition which is made worse by the fact that having bought AVG Tune Up yesterday to speed up my PC  Master Jacob has purchased a game which has been downloading for about 18 hours. My computer is now working so slow I am contemplating taking a hammer to either his PC or mine. Or both. By the way, I started this post at 8 am this morning.

Luckily, writing is very therapeutic for me. I can let out a whole stream of obscenities  thought and I instantaneously feel better. So anyway, accordingly, this morning I thought I'd write some silly stuff and get myself back on track and just as I started writing the phone rings from Master Ben's school to wind me up some more. Gez. Gimme a break! I'd literally only just got over the text message from Master Jacob's school to tell me he was late to school  - which I already knew as I dropped him there. Unbelievably, he did not fly, parachute or teleport himself to school - I dropped him there because we already have a prior arrangement for him being late because of his tennis and we were a couple of minutes later than usual. Really, is it necessary to text me about lateness two days before the end of term when everyone knows that for the last three weeks of term all they do is watch DVDs? Anyway, telling me he is a few minutes late is not going to make any difference to whether or not he will be late again because if I want to go to the loo before I go out I darn well will go to the loo. Personally, I find it difficult to drive my car with my legs crossed and soggy knickers. Maybe teachers don't. Hmm. There's a question to ponder. Anyway, I thought about texting back to say I have a bowel disorder but to be honest I thought it would be lost on them. I just texted back and said "We were watching a DVD."

So now, where was I going with this? Oh yes, depressed writers. That's not me. I'm just an annoyed writer. (Verging on mania.) All will be good when I hear some nice happy news like the Duchess of Cambridge has given birth to triplets.

However, if I hear/read any more new about how many millions J K Rowling is going to make out of  her book published under her leaked pseudonym I am going to listen to a Leonard Cohen album and gorge myself to death.



4 comments:

  1. That was funny. Well, it made me laugh anyway. Hacked off? Yes, yes, yes! Same sort of stuff life's been throwing at you with the added spice of selling and then not selling one's house with the 1986-vintage 'Fungus the Bogeyman' kitchen. Boy, was I happy when I thought I'd be moving. Boy, did the bi-polar kick in when I wasn't ....

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    1. Now throw into the equation that the Good Mr T is off work for two weeks, Mrs B, and by the end of next week I shall be completely mad. On Monday I actually felt morally obligated to do some dusting.

      Houses seem to be selling our side of town, Mrs B. Get that kitchen done quick!

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  2. Hello, Mrs. T!

    Long time, no visit... I've been so out of touch and I don't know what prompted me today to visit my favorite British blogger...but I did... and I felt nostalgic and regretful I didn't visit sooner. I've been back to blogging consistently - totally different platform (Wordpress) but hope to keep in touch much more frequently.

    I've been 'hacked off' lately too but probably because I was focusing too much on what I don't have and not caring enough about what I do have.

    So are you still crushing on Mr. Pierce Brosnan or did you upgrade to the latest 007 (Daniel Craig)? Talk to you later!

    - Mike (M.K. Louie, Mewie, etc.)

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    1. Mewie! How wonderful to hear from you! I had no idea you were still blogging - but I am delighted to hear that you are - a) cos this means that really your destiny is to be a writer/communicator and b) I too feel nostalgic at times for the heydays of blogging. Bar one exception - my fellow writer, G B Miller- none of my old blogging friends are blogging on a frequent basis and most have stopped completely. New faces have arrived (and gone) but it has never been quite as lively as my first two/three years of blogging. Of course, Twitter and FB have expanded and I have been tempted with Twitter but 140 characters so I expect I will go that way eventually but I fear I would end up glued to my phone which would not be healthy for me!

      Yes, it is all too easy to get hacked off. On should focus on the positives - though with the challenges life throws at us it easy to get wrapped up in negativity. I think the things that annoy me most are when my boys are treated unfairly. It kinda makes me go mad! I know there are much bigger issues than whether or not they get a decent schooling or are selected for the cricket team but I guess in a way even small injustices mirror what happens in the world in a much bigger world. It's probably a good thing I get mad about these things otherwise maybe I stopped caring about the other things too. It seems to me so many problems in the world could be solved by just adopting a policy of fairness.

      Hmm- I do not think I have mentioned Mr Brosnan for quite some time. I still like to tickle my arch nemesis, Tom Cruise, though. He is just too special to lose entirely:)) Besides, I'm worried if I did let him go he would be just too difficult to find again:))

      Anyway - entirely different news. I finished a new book! I have had it professionally edited and just need to add a few fishing touches when the boys return to school. I am hoping this will be my breakthrough - but more importantly I am very happy with it. It is a comedy drama called The Changing Room. I have subtitled it "A British comedy of love, loss and laughter." I am very happy that after almost seven years I almost at my destination:))

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