Tuesday, January 11, 2011

How do you gauge getting old?

So just how do you gauge when you're getting old?

Is it how many wrinkles you've got?

Is it when you get more aches and pains than you get birthday cards?

Is it when you have more dead friends than alive ones?

Is it when the doctor says There's nothing I can do. You'll just have to put up with it ?

Is it when your children ask you where do you keep your will?

Is it when you consider buying a Skoda because it's economical?

Is it when you go out to buy an evening dress and come back with thermal long johns?

Is it when you watch The Antiques Roadshow and realise you are actually older than most of the so called "antiques" on display?

Is it when you request a book at the library and the assistant directs you to the large print section?

Is it when you stop saying You'd never catch me dead wearing that and start saying That looks comfortable ?

No Dear Readers it is none of these. It is the middle of the night. I have insomnia exacerbated by a bad cold. I just switched on the PC to read the news and I have had the defining moment. I read the following headline:

Irish Actor Confirmed for Arnie Remake

Yes, that's right. They are going to make a remake of the Arnold Schwarzenegger film Total Recall.

That's it. I'm officially old.



  1. I've been saying 'that looks comfortable' for years. You've probably noticed. If I was really old, I wouldn't care, right? But, some days, I just don't care. Oh dear.

  2. Oh dear, dear, dear Mrs B. We are going to have to go on a shopping trip together and not the Edinburgh Wool Mill:)

  3. No it was when the on-call delivering doc for my third babster was obviously younger than me...and now so is my dentist and my osteopath and my Sainsbury delivery man and....

  4. U R getting old when hair from your head moves to your back and ears - not that I know that

  5. Scrub that. It's when you go out to buy some new clothes and come back with a load of new books to read. Oh dear. Ask yourself: how many young people do you see in bookshops these days? Perhaps they all have those electronic thingummyjigs. Mrs T?

  6. Or old is when you sing something and some kid asks 'How do you know that?', cos the song's so old it's been recycled!


I am always delighted to receive comments!

My Nominees for the US and UK Elections and Other Waffle

It's the early hours of the morning, and I have had a large gin... Late-night alcohol is always a good recipe for writing gibberish. And...