Sunday, April 19, 2015

Blogging A to Z: Q is for The Quest for Freedom

Johnny Potato said his prayers. Death was imminent. The torture chamber, where he'd spend the last few hours crushed between Archibald Onion's armpits and Serjeant Spud's groin, was rocketing to the top of the bag where Master Benedict was poised to launch Operation Shepherd's Pie.

Johnny glanced fearfully up through the clear plastic tub. He could see Master Benedict framed in the light, wearing an evil grin and a blooded butcher's apron.

"I'm going to dig out the eyes first. Then I'll peel them like apples and chop them up into little pieces," chuckled Master Benedict.

Johnny Potato gulped. He'd hoped for a quick and easy decapitation. But, no, he was going to be skinned alive by that vile and loathsome boy.

"It's every vegetable for himself now," shouted Sergeant Spud. "Charge!"

And with that, Sergeant Spud, Archibald Onion and Privates Cornelius and Marmaduke Carrot stormed towards the lid.

"Again!" cried Serjeant Spud as the lid refused to budge.

The vegetables charged for a second time, creating a small gap between the lid and the base of the container. Johnny pushed forward and, with a deep breath, squeezed past Sergeant Spud and Archibald Onion just as the container broke through into daylight. Johnny tumbled back into the dark recesses of Master's Benedict's cavernous bag and landed with an almighty thud as Serjeant Spud's dying screams filled his ears.

Johnny opened his eyes. His head was thumping and his vision blurred. He didn't know how long he had been unconscious in this stinking fetid hell hole that Master Benedict called his "school bag." Johnny gingerly pulled himself to his feet and looked up towards the small gap of light at the top of the bag. Suddenly it opened and a long plastic object hurtled towards him.

"Ahhhhhhhh," said Johnny as a ruler hit him in the face.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," cried Johnny as a crushed Coke can followed and knocked him to the floor.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" screamed Johnny as the half-eaten remains of  Priscilla Apple landed on his stomach.

Johnny scrambled back into a far corner as the light diminished.  It was dark, dank and a sweet sickly smell hung in the air. He had to find a way out... and soon. A slow death at the bottom of Master Benedict's bag was worse than being skinned alive.

Johnny reached out searching for a weapon to fend off the next bombardment from his torturer. His fingers touched something damp and sticky. His stomach turned as he realised his hands were covered with what remained of  Lola the Banana who had disappeared from the kitchen two weeks previously.

A tear ran down Johnny's cheek. He knew he had no choice. He knew that if he was ever going to escape Master Benedict's rucksack he would have stoop to depths no potato had stooped before.

And as Johnny acknowledged that this was just the first part of his quest, he ate what was left of Lola The Banana.

The Quest for Freedom will continue at some later date!

You can check out the other Blogging A to Z candidates HERE.


  1. I hope you realise you can have a day off now as you're not required to post on Sundays! lol Although that would deprive us of another good laugh so keep them coming :)

    1. Oh praise the Lord, Wendy! I completely forgot about Sundays being a day off - and I was really tired yesterday so I put if off all day (not logical I know but my brain works that way) so only managed this post 1 min before the deadline!


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