Monday, April 13, 2015

Blogging A to Z: K is for Kings and Kinkiness

Kings and kinkiness are subjects I know a lot about.

Now before you jump to conclusions, the reason I know about these subjects is because I've studied history. And, as anyone who's studied history knows, kings have a habit of being kinky and have been dropping their pants at will since the dawn of civilization. 

The most notable of the kinky kings was, of course, King Henry VIII. Now I need to explain that the "VIII" is not just because Henry was the eighth Henry to sit on the English throne but because he was affectionately known amongst the royal circles as "Eight-Times-A-Night-Henry."

That's right. Eight times a night. And that's after a ten course meal and a flagon of wine. 

Anyhow, there have been many theories about the cause of Henry's death including syphilis, Type 2 diabetes and Mcleod syndrome. But the truth is - he died from exhaustion.

That's what happens when you have too many mistresses, six wives and you have to pull your tights up and down all day and night.

I get exhausted just pulling on my pop socks. I think I went wrong somewhere.


Workshop of Hans Holbein the Younger - Portrait of Henry VIII - Google Art Project.jpg
Henry always stood with his legs apart for a reason.
You can check out the other Blogging A to Z candidates HERE.

Previous posts: A is for Arses and Aidan Turner
                         B is for Bullshit
                         C is for Chinese Crispy Duck and the Conservative Party.
                         D is for Diarrhea, Dinosaurs and Depauperation
                         E is for Eulogy for the Earth
                         F is for Ferrero Rocher
                         G is for Guns and Girls
                         H is for Hope and Horny Jelly Men
                        I is for Igloos, Ignorance and Iguanas 
                        J is for Jason Statham

6 comments:

  1. My good god! He certainly was the king of excess, huh?

    https://njmagas.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, he was, Nicky. He could consume more chicken drumsticks and women in a day than any other King of England:D

      Delete
  2. You might not be emulating his lifestyle but hopefully you'll outlast his lifespan ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it would be fun to emulate his lifestyle, Wendy! Unfortunately, I am still on marriage no 1. My time is running out to surpass Henry. Blast.

      Delete
  3. Well there you go... pun. Did he maybe have a stand in or stunt double?

    Jeremy [Retro]
    AtoZ Challenge Co-Host [2015]

    There's no earthly way of knowing.
    Which direction we are going!

    HOLLYWOOD NUTS!
    Come Visit: You know you want to know if me or Hollywood... is Nuts?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have never studied history or kings. If it was written this way I find it more fascinating and actually read about kings and their kinkiness. Very funny!

    ReplyDelete

I am always delighted to receive comments!

My Nominees for the US and UK Elections and Other Waffle

It's the early hours of the morning, and I have had a large gin... Late-night alcohol is always a good recipe for writing gibberish. And...