Wednesday, March 4, 2009

A Writing Challenge

Well today I'm going to be occupied doing a writing challenge with the author Gary Davison who wrote that stupendous book Fat Tuesday which if you really haven't bought yet you should be ashamed of yourself. (He pays well. What more can I say?)

Well, I'll fill you in on that in a minute but first of all I just wanted to write a quickie post just to gloat. Yes, I've been looking at my profile details and doing a little fiddling lately and I've noticed that on the occupation section of Blogger Profile I AM THE ONLY ONE LISTED UNDER MY CAREER. Yes, while there are numerous clerks, nurses, teachers, etc etc...I am the only one listed as "Pretending to Housework Badly"

You see I am unique! However, I am finding it a little hard to believe that I am the only woman who has this job. I therefore urge all you ladies across the world to join me in this noble and rewarding career! It is the only career besides being a brain surgeon and a male gigolo worth pursuing! You too can be like me and be entirely dedicated to the art of vacuuming whilst reading the paper, washing the dishes whilst giving the hamster a bath or indeed cooking the dinner whilst surfing the net, waxing your legs and combing the nits out of the kids hair.

( Okay, on second thoughts I'll add anyone who makes a stack of cash to my list of worthwhile careers - cos' well that green stuff is pretty useful at times for buying choccy and such like.)

Right, back to a writing challenge. Gary and I have set each other some words and have to come up with a story based around them. We have to start and finish the story today and send it to each other by tomorrow morning. This is bad news as I've been already been awake for a while and by midday I could be falling asleep on my keypad whilst my chicken hotpot is burning nicely on the stove. Oh well as they say - "shit happens."The "shit" is invariably my cooking but let's not go into details........

(Please excuse my forthright language all you folks of a delicate disposition. As you know Mrs T is not normally so bold but I've just cleaned the carpet (badly of course) because of the latest "deposit" from Cleo The Vomiting and S******* Cat and the word sprung easily to mind. (Tigga The Beelzebub Cat is asleep - mainly because she spent half the night torturing me.)

Anyway, I have two sets of words to choose from which are;

Set no 1

2 Characters; middle aged sex addict ( Hmm... I've no idea where he got that idea from I am Sooo not interested in sex) and a window cleaner. (Hmmm ...voyeurism ???)

Activity - fly fishing. (Okay that's the voyeurism angle out the window - Oh, a double pun!)

Theme - murder. (Okay that's gooood!)

Setting - river bank (Visions of hammy the Hamster the Hamster come to mind. Anybody else watch Tales of the Riverbank?)

Point of View - First person.

Set no 2

Baby sitter and double glazing salesman. (Hmm...potential, potential)

Activity - musical chairs. ( Yes, well. Gary's obviously been going to too many kids parties lately......)

Setting - summer fayre. (Hmm... images of morris dancers come to mind)

POV - Third person or first or indeed both!

Okay, these are word sets I gave to Gary;

Set 1

76yr old life peer
25 yr old busty blonde WAG ( Footballer's wife/girlfriend)

After dinner speech

Corporate balcony at Wembley


Third person

Set 2

An unknown man
A middle aged housewife.

Speed dating

A high society West End nightclub


First person.

Well it 's 10. 20 time for me to get writing or I won't get anything done! I'll let you know how I get on!


  1. These would-be house wifes are slow, aren't they? I'm done and dusted. I went for the speed dating. You just know Mrs T is going to go for the sex addict.

  2. Do you now Speedy pants?!

    You'll have to wait and see!

  3. wow let the battle commence!

  4. If you write anything about a summer fayre I shall come and lob bricks at your window.
    But a summer fair would be OK.

  5. Mike,

    Now unfortunately Gary wants to keep his little story under wraps but I shall put mine on TVFH (When I've done my typos.......)

    Ah Miss Hyde, how nice to see you again! It can be either fair or fayre can it not? I like "fayre" because I enjoy seeing a "Y" in the middle of a word - it's just a Mrs T thing. So I accept your challenge! ( I will however turn on my floodlights and CCTV tonight...)

  6. NOOOOO it CAN'T be "fayre". There's no such word. It just poncy Olde Englishe Tea Shoppery.

  7. But Miss Hyde please remember that Mrs T liketh to speaketh in such a noble manner accustomed as she is with many a tea shop.....

  8. Forsooth and verily, I am off to collect ye brickes...

    Wouldst thou lyke me to ayme at ye catte and not ye wyndowes? Ye one that keepeth thee awayke at nyghte? Seemeth only fayre...

  9. Ah yea indeedy, the catte that dost annoyth me - pleaseth use an uncommonly largeth stone.....

  10. Can't wait to read the final creation!

  11. Here you go Usha; I hope you like it!


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