Oh no, I've done it again! I opened my big mouth about Cheryl Cole's purple trousers - forgetting I'd actually ordered something purple myself. As it happens, I like the colour purple very much so when I was surfing trusty old Marks and Spencers for something suitably staid (socks, braces that kind of thing) for Mr T for the forthcoming Father's Day I accidentally (cough, cough) clicked on the women's section and came across a purple jumpsuit, ideal ( or so I thought) for lounging around in on a hot day. (Not that we get many of those in the UK but I like to look on the bright side.)
So yesterday the jumpsuit arrived and I thought it was FAB. Yes, I loved it. It's a lovely colour, a good fit and has a touch of the exotic. Yes, yes, I know it's more suitable for a holiday in the Caribbean but I can dream can't I? Anyway, I can always dip my feet in the kids' old paddling pool in the back garden - there's nothing like a top notch paddling session to keep the spirits up. I must remember to get my rubber duck out - Daffy hasn't had an outing for quite a while. He can play with my jugs and spatulas. Hours of simple fun - beats the hell out of ironing.
Anyway, delighted with my new purchase, I sashayed into the lounge to model it for Mr T thinking I looked the bee's knees. He looks up, face suddenly aghast, and says
"I think you should send that back."
Poor Mrs T is deflated! So I say (pompously)
" I will ask Master Jacob - he has good taste!"
So I go upstairs and call Master Jacob;
"Jacob, what do you think of my new outfit?"
Jacob pops his head round the corner of his room and then comes out looking very serious;
"Is anyone else going to see it?"
"Well I suppose so..."
Now Mrs T is even more deflated. However, at that very moment Master Benedict emerges from his room, takes a good look and shoots off back to his bedroom. Then, as I'm discussing the pros and cons of my jumpsuit with Master Jacob, ( I like it - he can barely control his vomiting) Master Benedict emerges from his room again with a large piece of paper on which he has written;
Hmm. Poor, poor Mrs T. She has been cruelly and viciously deflated by the males in her family! What is she to do? Shall she keep her purple jumpsuit or return it? What say you Readers? Are the male Turleys correct that Mrs T has made a ghastly purchase or should I ignore them and stash it in the back of the wardrobe to wear when no one else is within several miles? Oh the dilemmas, the dilemmas of being a badly dressed Housewife Extraordinaire.....
Ps - I bought Mr T something trendy - they were sold out of paisley ties.
It's the early hours of the morning, and I have had a large gin... Late-night alcohol is always a good recipe for writing gibberish. And...
I've been practising my haikus, which you may recall, I'm not particularly good at. However, I wanted to address the woke issue in a...
There was a buffoon called Johnson Who thought he was Charles Bronson But he fucked-up Brexit So attempted to exit Dressed as a wo...
Well. It’s about time I wrote another post; I’m sure you must all think I’m a lazy good for nothing housewife who sits nibbling chocolate ch...