Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Restoring Humour

Right, after this morning's post and yesterday's even more depressing one urgent action is required to restore Mrs T to her normal good humour!


1. Drink large cup of strong black coffee as opposed to usual decaff.  TICK

2. Scoff packet of yummy nuts. TICK.

3. Inspect pictures of Felciano Lopez ready for play-off against Andy Murray.

Hmm. Not bad. Not bad at all. 10/10.  I little long in the hair department but acceptably attractive. Looks a bit like Jesus though - which kinda worries me with the thoughts I'm having...

Hmm..bit worrying that bloke behind Feliciano has also given him a 10 though. Although I guess it's whatever ticks your box these days....

Anyway, that's a TICK

4. Ring Mrs D, friend and tennis partner, for mutual therapeutic whinge about the NHS, sore toes, tonsillitis, schools and anything else that comes to mind. TICK

5. Check what time Feliciano Andy comes on centre court. Hmm... after Federer. I wonder how much gold lame Roger will be wearing today? TICK

6. Write a blog.  Always good therapy - even when the complaints come in. TICK.

7. Check time - 12 50. Ten minutes before the Gold Lame Man arrives on centre court...just time to make lunch and another strong coffee....

And that is how we restore humour to Mrs T. And I didn't even mention chocolate..although come to think of it....


  1. Oh Jane!! I am so sorry you are having such a time of it!! But you are COMPLETELY right in being so frustrated!!!!

    My mantra is "I hate people". I say it all the time. Of course it is not completely true. I don't hate you, for example. And I am, as you know, quite fond of the Queen. But generally speaking people are annoying, obnoxious, ignorant, supercilious assholes. And it sounds as though you have had your fill of that genus in the past few days.

    My children are all out of school now, but exactly the same things used to drive me MAD!! First of all you have not let anything 'slip'. You have been grieving, QUITE NORMALLY, for your mother. It is not your responsibility to educate your children, it is the school's. Yes, as parents we make sure they are fed and dressed and get there, but after that the education part is what THEY get paid for!! And my kids went to private schools, so I was already paying through the nose for the privilege of then having to do hours of homework with them. Which I finally refused to do. I already DID homework in grade school, in high school, in college, in nursing school and in graduate school. I DID NOT WANT TO DO ANY MORE HOMEWORK!! And I told them so. They thought I was an insane cow, but so be it. I didn't need any more friends. Because of the range in their ages, I had kids in school for 26 years. So by the end I had had it. And guess what? They survived. Ok, they weren't class valedictorians, but they got the diploma.

    As far as the cat. See? I hate people! How can you not? Why can't anyone make things simple? No, they have to be petty little tyrants. Brava to you for feeding the poor little bugger. I will say a prayer he will be alright despite you getting NO HELP AT ALL!! Assholes.

    My, I have worked myself up. Jane, it is a good thing we live an ocean apart. Lord knows what damage we would wreak together.

    Although, on second thought, oh the fun we would have laughing at these wankers!! lol

    Love you Jane!!!!

  2. Oh Marie, Marie, Marie, you make laugh so much!! And because your humour always contains the truth it is doubly funny:))

    We have much in common - I am always whingeing about homework too and saying to my friends that school homework is, in fact, our homework. Particuarly those stupid darn projects -like build a Roman arena or a Saxon Camp, make a Victorian costume.... WHY, WHY WHY? Just look at a darn picture and do some F***** writing instead!

    Those particular vets get up my nose. I've had a stand-up row with them before. I'd like to think they are interested in saving animals but funnily enough I think it has more to do with making profit...Seriously what could I do with one course of antibiotics for a small bodyweight? It's not as if I could have killed myself or poisoned the water reservoir.... I've been going to them for 11 years and probably them paid a large amount of cash - I wasn't some stranger just walking in off the street....

    We would have A LOT of fun, Marie. A LOT! Thanks for cheering me up:)XX

  3. To add to the cheer up list--of course chocolates, dark choc truffles I say and maybe some wine. Hope life looks better now.

  4. O thanks goodness for that - normal service is resumed!

  5. I had to make do with cheap choccy I use on my flapjack Sue:) But I'll have the wine later - good idea:))

    Fortunately, my darker moments never last very long:)

  6. Yep Mike, just as well I can only stay serious for a short while - otherwise Mr T might be tempted to take a gun to his head:)

  7. Hi Jane,

    I have been dubbed THE Pushy Mother, and it's a description I take as a huge compliment. Being average is considered good enough by most schools, and it's not until our kids move on and have to competete for uni places or jobs they realsie they have been shortchanged.

    On a lighter note I spent 10 hours on centre court yesterday. I am tennis addict and backing Tsonga to go all the way this year....

    Anna May x

  8. Hi Anna,

    It's sort of double edged sword being called a "pushy mum" - a title to be proud of for doing the best for your kids but on the other hand it's not nice to be thinking what the teachers might be saying about you in the staff room! But you are absolutely right -it's average, average, average these days. It disappoints me that so many children are not fufilling their true potential:(

    I'm jealous - centre court! I'm kind of with you on Tsonga - of course if Murray won it would be great for British tennis but I'm not sure it's his year...and I'm bored with Rafa although he's a great player. However, I luvvvvv Djokvoic's tempermental passion ... smashing up his racket had me all of a quiver!! But Tsonga - the outsider and all round good egg...gotta be in with a chance and probably worth a little bet...

  9. I think I was about to write something very witty, but after laughing and spitting the digestives at the screen (whilst reading lovely Marie's comments), I've forgotten what I was to say and anyway, it'll pale in comparision!!!

    You've made me incredibly happy posting a picture of the "gawjus" Lopez...didn't realise tennis players were soooo attractive these days....yum, yum! And you didn't even mention chocolate..once!

    Sorry you've had a pants time of it (not good enough is it? No wonder you're angry!), but chocolate really always serves to raise the "whatever" levels!

  10. Ah yes Mummy at the School gate my friend Marie has a certain succint way with words that reaches to the heart of the matter!

    "Whatever" levels - I like that expression. I need to use it more:)

    Believe me, there are some seriously attractive tennis players out there (I'm excluding Gold Lame Man though - there's only so far I'm prepared to stoop even if his wallet is bulging) and there are lots of lovely young men and coaches out there too - who wear dinky little shorts - and some even have pockets for their balls! Why do you think I encourage my boys to play tennis? ... I get to spend hours and hours watching fit young men completely legitimately and no one suspects my evil thoughts...Hee hee..hee...


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