I've just heard that Cheryl Cole is auctioning off her X Factor clothes. I missed out on Princess Beatrice's hat but I feel I'm in with a good chance with Cheryl's purple trousers.
Right, let's see how much change I've got in my purse...
That should do it.
Okay, okay...it's for charity. I can hear you saying what a skinflint I am so I'm prepared to be generous and raise the stakes.
That's it; take it or leave it, Cheryl. I'm only prepared to pay so much for a new floor cloth.