That's it! I've finally discovered how I can become a fashion tycoon, the new Vivien Westwood of jewellery design and guru of ludicrously overpriced fashion. In a matter of weeks, I, Mrs Turley Housewife Extraordinaire, will become a Fashionista Extraordinaire and multi-millionaire businesswoman. People will be paying me huge amounts of cash to design ridiculously overpriced jewellery and accessories which I will then flog to poor unsuspecting fools! (Readers of Okay and Hello probably.)
Oh hurrah, hurrah, hurrah! My salvation from the kitchen sink has come at last!
So last week (after I'd been admiring my extensive gem collection for several days) I was alleviating the boredom of doing my daily tasks by chuckling to myself about my friends' interest in knitted jewellery and sheep's baubles.
Anyway, so there I was in the utility room, when suddenly it struck me - how I could be rich overnight by designing my own range of jewellery with my own new revolutionary products - made not from sheep's wool... or goat skin.... or leather
tumble drier fluff.
Which, folks, has remarkably similar properties to sheep's wool, costs absolutely nothing to produce (as it is a by product of my tumble drying) and has the added bonus of being able to be shaped anyway you wish into stylish, desirable jewellery. (So long as you don't wear it in the rain.)
I am on to a winner!
Okay, so let's look at the raw material;
See how similar it is to sheep's wool? I think I will start with a range of jewellery but quickly move onto jumpers and cardigans. I may even get a Royal Warrant! Hmm... Designer to Her Majesty...sounds perfect...
Right, let's see how I got on and see my first effort. Here's some stylish earrings;
As you can see, it took me simply ages to style the fluff into that modern abstract design. But I think it works - what do you think?
Now let's have a look at my second attempt - following the fashion for "big" jewellery, I thought I'd go for something really eye-catching and striking....
I think this one is particularly successful. I can see hoards of people wanting to snatch this up! Also, I'm thinking that if I add a bit of gold paint spray it would make the perfect gift for a gentleman to give the special woman in his life at Christmas.
And finally readers my piece de resistance;
This is my favourite - in keeping with the "organic" feel of my range I've added some chilli flavoured pasta- I think the contrasting colours really work.
Now, if you would like to purchase these lovely items just let me know - alternatively you might want to hang on and take a look at my contemporary hat range coming later this week!