Christmas comes but once a year
Hurrah for that ’cos it’s very dear
So raise your glasses, hoist your frocks
Be prepared for those Christmas socks
Open your prezzies, empty your stocking
Whose gift is best for ritual mocking?
Is it the pants or is it the clock?
No, it’s those awful Christmas socks.
Boil your sprouts and eat those tarts
Get outta the way before hubby farts
Baste your turkeys, drink your hocks
Parade those hideous Christmas socks
Pull the crackers, tell some jokes
Those silly rhymes will make you choke
Fry the leftovers in a wok
A new ingredient is… a Christmas sock
Granny cries, “What’s this in my bubble and squeak?”
Mummy lies, “Just a new a new kind of Christmas leek!”
Granny goes into anaphylactic shock
At the pungent smell of the Christmas Sock.
Granny coughs and drops down dead
And now you can retire to bed
For never again will you have to put
A Christmas sock upon your foot.
Copyright Jane Turley 2008
(My excuse is that I was under the influence of drink - that hot chocolate does crazy things to me.)