Monday, June 24, 2013

A Public Declaration of Intent

There are 52 weeks in a year.

This is the 26th week of the year so far.

Accordingly, I am about to start my 26th diet of the year.

So in order that I achieve any weight loss I am now making a public statement of intent in the wild hope that it will shame me into some weight loss. Currently, I am living under the fear that should I need to produce an author portrait for my novel I will have to use Photoshop because otherwise everyone will think my novel has been written by a very creative elephant.


So here goes:

I, Jane Turley, resident of the United Kingdom and Her Majesty's loyal and obedient servant, do publicly declare in the year of Our Lord two thousand and thirteen that by January  2014 I shall have a smaller arse.

Obviously, I will blogging fairly frequently about this matter. And believe me, I have a LOT to say about dieting. And eating. In the meantime, I shall start this diet as every good dieter knows is absolutely the best way...

By gorging myself to near death today, taking a laxative and starting tomorrow.

Oh. Dear. God. That sight is way too familiar. When your gut is bigger than your boobs it is time to worry. I have nightmares about Mr T mistaking my gut for my boobs. It's not pleasant. However, if I turned my nightmares into  a novel it would probably be more successful than Fifty Shades of Grey.  There's a whole lot of perverts out there who'll read anything for a cheap thrill. Hmm... that's a very good idea actually. I've been struggling to come up with concept for what I should write next.  Now I'm thinking  Fifty Rolls of Fat has some mileage as a title. I could even set the sequel in a farmyard.

2 comments:

  1. I spent my time either starving or thinking of starving..but anyway nice pic and best of luck.

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    Replies
    1. I know exactly what you mean BV:) Needless to say I spend most of my time just thinking about starving....

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