Thursday, April 6, 2017
F is for Fantasies
This is going to be one of my rare intimate posts. This is a post where you discover something about me and I get to, hopefully, discover something about you! So don't forget to leave me one of your fantasies in the comments.
Okay so here are my top twenty fantasies:
1. I win the ManBooker prize.
2.I win the Nobel prize for literature.
3. I win the Nobel Prize for literature and the ManBooker prize in the same year - for different books. (I've always been ambitious.)
4. I bump into Tom Cruise at Harrods and say "Oh I am so sorry.... Oh you look familiar....Now don't tell me.... you're... your'e... Justin Bieber."
5. Our Prime Minister, Mrs May, invites me to be the Minister for Literature. I decline because I am too busy on the international book circuit talking about my Nobel prize for literature and my ManBooker Prize. (Awarded in the same year.)
6. I go onto the Daily Mail Website and the headline reads:
Kim Kardashian's arse explodes.
Large crater appears on Hollywood Walk of Fame.
And underneath the headlines are 952 close-up photographs. And a video.
7. I wake up one morning and I have lost 4 stone.
8. I wake up one morning, turn on my side and there is a (youthful) man there who looks like a Roman God with a lithe body and muscular torso. I say:
"Do you have a twin brother? We could have a threesome."
9. I win 70 million on the lottery - on the same day as I win the ManBooker prize and the Nobel Prize for literature.
10. I never get caught for speeding.
11. I never get caught for speeding and driving irresponsibly whilst eating a bar of Cadbury's fruit and nut chocolate.
12. I bump into George Clooney in Harrods. I say... " Oh you look familiar. I'm sure I know you from somewhere....you're.. you're... Donald Trump!"
13. Her Majesty makes me a Dame for services to Literature. I graciously accept.
14. I wake up one morning and discover a horse's head on my pillow. Luckily, its made of chocolate so I stay in bed all day eating it.
15. I discover a miracle cure for facial hair.
16. I write a kick-ass film script. I am asked to help audition the lead roles. Jason Statham comes into the audition room and I say "So Jason, what can you do for me?" He says "Anything you like. I love this script and I really want this role." I say "I'm in room 52 at the Ritz. No need to knock."
17. I'm in the foyer of the Ritz and bump into Gerard Butler. He says; " I've heard you've written a kick-ass film script that would be perfect for me. Is there any chance I could audition for it?" I say "Can you come to my room after 10pm? I have a late night appointment with ...my accountant."
18. I wake up one morning and go over to the Daily Mail website and the headline reads:
Kanye West airlifted to Hospital.
Enormous sinkhole appears at Kardashian's mansion. Kim Kardashian still missing.
19. God has a sense of humour.
20. I meet a very wealthy senile old man with 7 younger brothers.
By the way, you can pick up my short story for children and adults called Fantasia free HERE on Amazon kindle for the next five days. If you enjoy it please write a review!
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