The only word beginning with D that has been cropping in my mind all day in order to write about tonight is "Divorce"- even though I'd already decided I wasn't going to write about it. So I'd been putting off writing all day hoping some other word would come into my mind, so a few minutes ago as it's almost the UK 12pm deadline I decided to go to one of those random word generators for some much needed inspiration. I put in a request for ten words beginning with D...and the second word that came up was... divorce.
The first word was directory.
Anybody want me to write about "directory" ? I doubt it. Maybe some weird techy geek with a telephone directory fetish but that's about it.
Okay, so I'm going to write about divorce as that kind of spooky stuff is fate's way of telling me its okay to let loose.
But I now only have ...12 minutes before the deadline! Crap. I better make this quick.
So this is what I know about divorce:
Elizabeth Taylor got divorced 7 times
Zsa Zsa Gabor got divorced 7 times
Mickey Rooney got divorced... 6 times I think
Lana Turner got divorced 8 times.
So..... you know I ain't doing so bad - only 1 in over thirty years!
Now let me see - I'm 52. I have approx 25 years left in me. So if I want to beat Lana Turner's record I need to marry and divorce 8 more times in the next 25 years assuming I don't peg it early. This means I need a new husband every... 25 divided by 8 = um um um..... nearly every three years.
Cripes. I better get a move on.
Okay any of you folks out there know any willing victims (preferably with large wallets) email me at Jane@easylay.com
Okay that's it. I've got 4 minutes to spellcheck.
Ps - I'd prefer a toyboy but if you know a rich oldie make sure he's senile so I can line the next one up whilst he's kipping.