Monday, April 18, 2016

O is for Ode to Oedipus

Yes, it's time for one of my departures into appallingly bad poetry. This is because as usual I had no idea what I was going to write about today so I looked up a list of words beginning with "O" and found I didn't know most of them. Well, I knew a few words such as... "on", "one", "once", "oh" and "oven." I did toy with the idea of writing about my oven (*spits*) but I thought that would probably spiral into one of my celebrity chef rants which I had been thinking of doing for "C" and then forgot at the last moment and so ended up doing the Christmas Male Dancer.

However, I did recognise the word "ode" in the list which was closely followed by "Oedipus". ( I knew O level English would come in handy someday.) So I thought why not throw them together and see what happens.....

Oedipus was a king of Thebes
Who didn't like controversies
Especially about his unfortunate herpes
Which tormented him so much at night
He wished he was a hermaphrodite

But Oedipus was already distressed
Having killed his father in a rage contest
He was even more depressed
When he discovered he'd married his mother
And hadn't thought to use a rubber

Oedipus was distraught by his affliction
And cursed by a sex addiction
So he went to see his physician
Whose only pathetic solution
Was the suggestion of an institution

Oedipus wept and threw himself upon the floor
I cannot bear this anymore!
I am someone to abhor!
And so with wailing cries
He pulled out two pins and blinded his eyes

There is a moral to this sorry story
And all its poetic allegory
Which is condoms should be mandatory
Especially if you take a lover
And then screw your mother

There's also another moral
Which is if you write some twaddle
For the April A to Z
Make sure you post it after the watershed
Or preferably when you are dead.

4 comments:

  1. OMG! This was so dang good and hilarious! I honestly laughed at loud and then read it to my grandson whose sense of humor is much like mine! Well done!!

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    1. Thanks, Paula. Poetry is not really my thing. I only do it under duress or if I can't think of anything else to write about!

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  2. Yeah but when's the watershed when half your audience (at least) is in another time zone! Great post :)

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    1. Pah - all those different time zones, Wendy. Who cares - so long as The Tube runs on time!

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