Sunday, April 8, 2012

Midget Gem Outrage (No 2)

Following up on yesterday's article on the unscrupulous overpricing of Midget Gems at Tesco, today I am bringing you my report on the price and quality of Midget Gems at Tesco, Morrisons and Aldi. I did a lot of hard work on this (which sadly may now involve my acquiring a new set of dentures) so I hope you all appreciate my sterling efforts.

So, I will do the pricing element first. The Midget Gems I have selected for this process are what I call "Home Brand" Midget Gems.

Morrison's MG on the left, Tesco in the pink and Aldi on the right.

200g bag at Aldi = 34p

Excellent value. Finally, the Germans did something right. I quite like the packaging too - sophisticated although a little too black perhaps. Reminds me of...jackboots. I'll say no more as I know I have a terrible habit of mentioning the war which, frankly, is just childish of me. Anyhow, these days the Germans concentrate on making Midget Gems in the Ruhr Valley which is good news for everyone. In fact, I gather Aldi have also had so much success with these in the UK they are thinking about distributing them around the world and dominating the Midget Gem market...

200g bag at Tesco = 89p

What a rip off. Get real Tesco. There's a recession on. And the pink packaging is awful. I am not six year old girl mad about ballet dancing. I'm an adult. In size anyway.

200g bag at Tesco Express =93p

What the F***??? Need I say more? Except that I am going to boycott Tesco Express. (Unless I need any milk, bread or some of those tasty little croissants.)

227g at Morrisons = 89p

Well better value than Tesco anyway. And more appealing packaging to the discerning Midget Gem purchaser such as my good self. I like the Union Jack on the front which inspires not only confidence in the product but the general wearing of silly hats, street parties and senseless violence at football matches. 10/10

Right so now to the all important taste aspect of my review. (I'm getting bored now so this may be short and sweet - no pun in intended.)

Aldi - the MG are softer than Morrisons and Tesco's. I prefer my Gems harder. I think most women do. That said soft Gems have their attraction but only for a short space of time. Hard ones just last longer which is obviously very, very appealing. The flavours are not so strong as Morrison and Tesco but, nevertheless, that won't stop me scoffing them at regular intervals.

Morrisons - As I said, harder than Aldi and the flavours are more distinctive than Aldi's although there's one flavour that tastes a bit off - a bit like aniseed. Maybe these are the ones that have nettles and spinach in them.  Seriously. I wish I hadn't read the back of the packet now.

Tesco - About as hard as Morrisons and the taste equally pleasant. I'd have to sample another packet though to check for the rogue spinach/nettle flavour as I've eaten so many now I haven't got a clue who I am and where I live  - the one thing I am sure about though is that my face has broken out in Midget Gem sized spots which, no doubt, is due to excessive sugar consumption.

So there you are: I declare Aldi Midget Gems the best overall in the value for money stakes despite being a little more bland than Tesco and Morrisons. I'd probably pick Morrisons over Tesco's by a small degree in the quality and taste stakes. However, I am prepared to delete this post should a truck load of Midget Gems arrive on my doorstep from Tesco's.

In the meantime, I duly await the arrival of a large quantity of Frankfurters, Stollen and a nice pair of boots.

Note: I didn't read the back of the packets of either the Aldi or Tesco versions. I can't remember why - it could be because a) I was too busy eating b) I couldn't find my glasses or c) I couldn't be arsed. I suspect it may have been c).


  1. I applaud your thoroughness on this issue and share your pain on finding out that something you like has gone up about 200 per cent. Grrr.

    I have recently been sampling rather too many hot cross buns (and doing a lot less exercise than usual - another story) and, after much deliberation, I declare the Tesco ones the best. You do have to catch them on the day of baking (or re-heating) though otherwise they are just ... stale. A little like my exercise plan.

  2. I have not touched a hot cross bun this Easter, Mrs B. Mon derrière cannot afford to expand any further. So I will accept your verdict on Tesco's hot cross buns - knowing that you will have analysed them in a full and proper manner. (I hope you had them with butter on by the way.)

    Do not worry about your exercise plan, Mrs B. You are as thin as rake! I did two hours tennis yesterday and weighed more this morning - go figure...

    Happy Easter, Mrs B!

  3. Happy Easter to you too!

    Two hours of tennis??! Last time I played tennis, I lasted about 20 minutes and then did my back in. I haven't played since and that was last year.

    That extra weight you talk of is probably muscle which is upping your metabolic rate like nobody's business. (I think that's how it works!)

  4. That's how it's suppose to work, Mrs B - but my body is an anomaly. I'm thinking offering it up to medical science:))


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