Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Equality and Diversity. Yeah, right.

Okay, so this is a rant. I figure I need one. I've been working too hard and need to let off some steam.

So let's talk about equality and diversity. Now those of you who have read this blog for a long time know I'm a gentle, fair minded soul.  I believe in equality. I have absolutely nothing against small people called Tom who star in major movies and who may or may not wear platforms. In fact, I defend every man's right to wear platforms. It's a free world and let's face it - some people would have difficulty looking over the sweet counter without heels.

Anyway, I recently filled out a job application form which wanted to know my sexual orientation. ( The student advisor job - see a previous rant.)  Well, I have to admit I was a bit taken aback by such boldness and I felt rather like rolling up the application form and sticking it right up their backsides... then I thought that might suggest peculiar sexual fetishes so maybe that wasn't actually a good idea. Not that I have anything against rolled up application forms - just not up the backside. On the backside is a different matter of course - but let's not go there - this a clean site. Well so I keep telling Mr T. Mind you, he still thinks this is a blog about flower arranging.

So, here's a question. By asking my sexual orientation are employers/gov really monitoring statistics or are they indulging in positive discrimination? You tell me. Was I right to be a little upset? Now don't forget Readers I have been away from the job market for a long, long time so I'm used to that old fashioned concept that you select the best man or woman for the job - so why do employers need to know my sexual orientation? We have a population census every 10 years which monitor such statistics. I'm not convinced that all this statistics are used innocently - but please feel free to correct me if you think otherwise.

Despite my reservations, eventually I managed to fill in the application form by gritting my teeth and taping my mouth shut. However, I've since thought of some alternative answers to the question...

What is your sexual orientation?

Here we go...

My sexual orientation is...

1. Saturday nights after a curry and 3 glasses of wine.

2. Dangling from the ceiling.

3. I just chuck the car keys in the centre of the table and hope for the best.

4. I haven't had sex since 1991. My children are adopted and my husband got his balls torn off in a rugby match.

5. I get my kicks watching small people perform ridiculously stupid stunts whilst wearing platforms and a pretend bullet proof vest.

6. I fantasize about setting fire to Russell Brand.

7. I'm a farmer. It's a private matter.

8. I have this thing about Nutella and currant buns.

9. Somewhere in the Bahamas. Alternatively, in the kitchen so long as the lights are out and the knives are in the drawer.

10. What's sex?

Yeah, so you get the idea. I'm still a little peeved. Just how much do employers and government need to know? I guess I'm old fashioned in that I believe that some things should remain private.

You know, I think if George Orwell was alive today he'd probably be smirking.

Ps - If anyone wants to discuss their sexual orientation I am, as they say, "all ears".

Pps - Let's not be pedantic about the meaning of the word "orientation" - you all know what I mean!

PPs - any more suggestions for my next application gratefully received. And nobody mention custard.


  1. I of course like number one, because a good curry always get me hot ;)
    Long time no see, but wanted to drop in and I see your writing is still fabby.

    as for the question I find it disturbing, and really nobody's business and feel the same way.

  2. Well, out here in this country, we would definitely never be asked about sexual orientation. Is that something which would impact your ability to do a good job? But then again, here we would have to fill in caste and religion.

  3. Damm cheek if you ask me. Since when did it become acceptable to ask for this sort of information? I think it's probably counter productive anyway, as I'm sure that a significant amount of people simply make up the answer.
    A curry and three glasses of wine eh? Does this mean you're high maintenance?

  4. Jafabrit!!!

    Howdy, howdy, howdy:)) Long time no see indeed and a pleasure to see you! Are you still creating all that funky artwork? I shall have to come over and see!

    I no longer hang out at BC - too many format changes. Guess I'm a bit old fashioned which is why I'm opposed to these personal questions. Bring back the old stiff upper British lip and a bedtime cup of Ovaltine and the country would soon get back on it's feet.

    (Okay- maybe capital punishment and flogging as well.)

  5. Exactly Sue - how on earth would sexuality have an impact on the average job? Certainly not on the one I was applying for...

    Well ethnic origin and religion are standard declarations over here...but the sexual orientation is a new one on me.

    It's not a nice feeling that one might be discriminated against in any way - and I'm not convinced that declaring personal info actually prevents discrimination. It may even be a source of it.

  6. You're right Martin - it is probably counter-productive it's only because I'm a honest citizen I put the truth but I was really really tempted with the usual Jedi Knight for religion and as for orientation..... well now!

    A curry and three glasses of wine is cheap for a gal like me. Normally I charge Mr T a magnum of champers and 100 bucks:))


I am always delighted to receive comments!

My Nominees for the US and UK Elections and Other Waffle

It's the early hours of the morning, and I have had a large gin... Late-night alcohol is always a good recipe for writing gibberish. And...