"Don't let your mother outside Boys. There's a full moon. Things are bad enough anyway."
It's true. For several days I have been feeling "odd" and it doesn't appear to be PMT. Strangely, I've been drawn to the night sky, mesmerized by the fullness of the moon. Spine tingling shivers have alternated with sudden bouts of feverish activity. At night, the ever cautious Mr T has chained me to the bed - worried that whilst he snores his wife might be carving up celebrity chefs. And, in the mornings, when he's seen all is not lost I've been set free to roam the house, wandering amongst the rooms like some lost, forlorn soul.
What's been wrong with me?
This morning, Readers, it finally dawned on me what the problem has been and what I had to do about it.
So, with a sense of urgency, I pulled on my tracksuit bottoms, tied the laces on my trainers and set my stopwatch. I unlocked the front door and stepped outside, taking a deep breath ready to face an almost insurmountable task; a challenge I had not faced since the last supermoon in 1995. It was a challenge that would require all my skill, tenacity, courage and discipline. It would need every ounce of Mrs T's determination and guts to see it through to the very end....
I vacuumed out my car.