And I stood on the scales.
And I stood on the scales.
And I stood on the scales.
When I'd recovered from the heart attack I thought to myself;
You stupid, stupid woman.
Okay, so I think that most days. But yesterday I really meant it. I mean, a couple of biscuits and a glass of wine and wham bam I'm half a stone heavier! It's that perimenopause I tell you, screwing up my system. So it's back to the diet of bran and yogurt and walking for at least an hour a day. Groan, groan, groan. Why me? Why couldn't I have been born some svelte-like willowy creature, instead of a tub of lard?
Anyway, so I put on my tracksuit and prepared to steel myself against the bitter wind. Then I had a thought, why not be daring Mrs T and try something new?
So I took off all my clothes and headed down the street....
No, seriously. I didn't. Although it may have crossed my mind. Instead, I decided I'd borrow Master Benedict's ipod and download an audio book. Daring, daring stuff I hear you say. What next? An electronic egg whisker for Mrs T? Well I popped onto itunes and looked at the the first few pages of the latest fiction releases...
The Red Queen
Birdsong
The King's Speech
The Lollipop Shoes
The Tycoon Takes A Wife
Pictures of Lily
Distant Voices by Barbara Eskine. Ditto.
Miss Winthrope's Elopment
Part of the Furniture
Electricity
Forgetting Zoe is affordable at £6.95, so I decided to go for it.
So eventually, after much fiddling around with Master Ben's headphone thingys, (I wasn't aware that I had funny shaped ears till now) I set off on my walk and, blow me, did I have a shock. Well Ray Robinson is a bloke but it was read by an American woman! Who sounded just like Heather! (Go listen to one of her podcasts) Okay, okay the story is set in America but well you know I just didn't expect it.... I guess I was thinking of... Colin Firth? You know, stiff upper lip Brit, classically trained, proves he can do an American accent... I dunno. Sometimes I confuse myself.
Anyway, I'm off walking at a pace round the village trying hard to focus on the story. I found concentrating pretty tricky as my brain just wanders off into its own small, peculiar world. Now there's a surprise. There's also the problem that when you're out walking there's lots of things to look at - like grass and stuff. That made it somewhat difficult for me...
Oh look at the grass, and that tree and that car Mrs T! Watch out for that dog muck too! And don't look behind you, you might be followed by a strange dog. I wonder if Daniel Craig lives round here and will see my bottom as he drives past in his Aston? Mind that manhole cover now....
You know, I think there's actually an art to listening to audios which I haven't developed yet. I need to keep on trying.
It didn't help either that after a while I got really cold, stuck my hands in the my pocket and all of a sudden I heard this;
At this point, I decided it was time to head back home for a good old fashioned book. I shan't give up though, Readers. The night is young, the flesh is weak but Mrs T paid £6.95 and I'm gonna get to the end of if even it kills me. (It probably will too, as I can't hear the traffic.)
Hey... It's your special day! I hope it's a wonderful one. Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteWell thanks Mr I:) You're full of surprises! I hope those travels have been going well...and it's time for a rest soon? Maybe a bit of blogging too!
ReplyDeleteBlogging??? What's that? Yes, I need to get back into it. :)
ReplyDeleteYes you do! I miss your posts Mr I:) The blogging world is a bit of a dying forum with the continued rise of Twitter and Facebook; I like to think you're just too busy doing that work thing:))
ReplyDelete140 characters just isn't enough for me. Guess I'll be here a while longer:)