Well, my thanks to Mrs G (Eve’s Lungs) for passing me this book tag. I really enjoyed the last tag from Usha; so we’ll just have to see what happens with this one! It may not of course actually follow exactly as per the instructions… However, these are the correct instructions I received from Mrs G;
1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
Well as my desk is situated right next to one of my book cases I merely reached out to my left, without looking, felt for the nearest book and pulled out…
Society and Puritanism in Pre-Revolutionary England by Christopher Hill.
(Yawn, yawn…. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……stand back from the window…...)
Anyway, just to verify this - here is a picture of my desk and the offending book case. Please notice how clean and tidy my desk looks. It is ALWAYS this way; it is absolutely never, ever, littered with chocolate wrappers, coffee cups, mail, books, papers, biscuit crumbs, tissues and of course small effigies of Pierce Brosnan. (I keep those by the side of my bed…for inspiration.)
Unfortunately, for you readers, the shelf at hand level is one which houses some of my old history books from those dark, distant college days. However, the good news is I didn’t pull out the book next to it which was Marx/Engels The Socialist Revolution. (In which case readers you would have my full permission to jump.) The book on the other side was a little more interesting though - Stephen Venables’ A Slender Thread; an autobiography of the first Briton to reach the summit of Everest without supplementary oxygen. I read it a few years ago but as I recall it was quite an interesting read which is why it hasn’t made it to the charity shop/school fair yet. Anyway, just for your interest here are some of the other books on that shelf;
Papillion by Henri Charriere. (A man with delusions of being a butterfly attempts to escape from a top notch security complex. NB - flapping his arms did not get him over the perimeter.)
The Government of Elizabethan England by A.G.R Smith. (Lizzy gets down and dirty with the troops; risqué edition.)
France 1814 -1940; a history by J P T Bury. (Why bother? I didn’t. Just kept it cos I like to look knowledgeable.)
The Karma Sutra by An Over Enthuasstic Exhibitionist. (Umm... cough, cough…how did that get there? It’s not mine…….)
Bring on the Empty Horses by David Niven. (Blow- up horses search for a mystical saddle…again I couldn’t believe it; I always thought David Niven was soooo sophisticated…..)
American Politics Today by J.D Lees, R A Maidment and M Tappin. (Laughable.)
Pregnancy by Gordon Bourne. (A one way ticket to sleepless nights, no sex and 50 denier tights.) To which I say…
WHAT WOULD A MAN KNOW ABOUT IT????
Oh....mind you… sometimes I wonder if some women know about childbirth… I once read a Sheila Kitzinger’s book where she said many women find child birth orgasmic. Orgasmic? Is Ms Kitzinger crazy?? OK…this is sensitive subject… but NO woman I know has EVER implied the experience was remotely sexually pleasurable. Of course I can only talk from my own experience… and that was more like being run over by a 10 ton truck and having all your innards squeezed out at 100 mph. Not pleasant.
Anyhow, having read Ms Kitzinger’s book I came to the conclusion that she was not in her right mind or had overdosed on some pethedine.
(And please no one leave a comment saying they had……. enjoyed childbirth. Otherwise I’ll end up being all bitter and twisted… which Mrs T would not like to be as she far too nice to be angry at stupid, silly authors who clearly don’t know what they are talking about and wear silly flowery dresses, idiotic sandals and……
Oh yes………ummmmmm….where was I?
Well, being as inefficient as I am and skim reading Mrs G’s instructions I went to the fifth line not the fifth sentence which read….
…the English “were naturally lazy and spend half their time taking tobacco.”
Hmm. Yes…that’s what happens when you’re too lazy to read the instructions properly. However, I’d just like to point out that I don’t smoke and have never done; I’m also a very, very good girl…well…most of the time….but you know when I see the chocolate counter I have these strange uncontrollable urges…..
Ok…the fifth sentence actually is...
“Problems of labour discipline were of general concern to statesman and divines during our period. As early as 1536………”
STOOOOOOOOPPPPP!! I can take no more…..no, no, no! My history days, indeed my intellectual days, are over. I am a shell of an intellect……. Here’s the fifth sentence and more of the book I am actually reading…
Peep, peep! That night everything ran like clockwork. Thomas and Percy steamed through the stations making good time everywhere they went. Toot toot! At a station, Thomas noticed a woman looking worried. She had brown hair, blue eyes and 3 children in tow. Her Ford Cmax had broken down and now her children were looking worried.
Well that about wraps it up for today. See ya all soon!
All writing in this blog is the sole copyright of Jane Turley and not to be infringed upon on pain of death. A very painful death. With steak knives. And dishcloths. Need I say more?
© Jane Turley 2008
Ps I tag anyone who would like to do it but don’t forget to tell me when you have!
Pps. All those books are actually on my shelf…except the Karma Sutra…
is on my desk….. ..
Oh Good Lord! (MrsT’s eyes pop out of her head as she peruses the book upside down.)
How DO they do THAT???? !!!!