So shall I or shan't I ask for a copy of the accident report and the last health and safety check on the school gym equipment?
Hmm. Now let me think - the school have already got it in for Master Ben because I've brought it to their attention that certain members of their staff couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery - let alone mark a book. I may become even more unpopular than I already am but, more importantly, so might Master Ben who is already dispirited by the turn of events of the last year or so.
Hmm... I wonder if Young Master Ben will be sufficiently recovered to make his début for the county cricket team tomorrow as opening bowler. We'll have to wait and see. In the meantime, I might run through a few ideas for his letter of absence for tomorrow.
Please, please, please will you get your act together. I have had enough. Last year Ben fell two grades in literacy which is not acceptable. His books, homework and diary were marked infrequently until I brought it to your attention which is not acceptable. You never ring me when the school cricket matches are cancelled which is not acceptable and now you let my child be hit on the head by a plank of wood most likely through negligence. It is not acceptable. Once again, you have failed my child.