Question: Am I trying to kill myself?
It's just after 4 am. I have insomnia again and I've been awake for the last hour mulling over the direction my writing is heading. I finally worked it out this week; I'm not going to be the next John Le Carre - I can't write seriously for more than a couple of paragraphs. So I might as well just get on and write the bonkers stuff.
So no Nobel prizes for literature for me. Maybe a turkey?
So anyway, eventually, I decide I might as well get up and write. What's the point in thinking about plots and scenarios? I know where I'm going now, so I might as well write it down since there's no chance of drifting back to sleep.
I grope for my fleecy jacket and make my way onto the landing. Immediately, I notice there's a strange smell in the house...
I raise my hooter to the air...the odour is a cross between waffles and...
But there's no smoke! And I haven't made any cakes( for about 20 years) what is this strange smell? Has my pussy, Mr Bond, dumped in the sugar bowl?
I wander downstairs and put the kettle on, looking for the source of this peculiar smell...
I have left a giant pan of chilli con carne cooking for at least 10 hours. I...um...forgot about it.
Fortunately, it had a lot of fluid in it. So...I guess it's only burnt to a depth of... an inch?
So, in answer to my question Am I trying to kill myself ? No, not deliberately, but I may yet succeed!