A Fatally Flawed Mrs T

Question: Am I trying to kill myself?

It's just after 4 am. I have insomnia again and I've been awake for the last hour mulling over the direction my writing is heading. I finally worked it out this week; I'm not going to be the next John Le Carre - I can't write seriously for more than a couple of paragraphs. So I might as well just get on and write the bonkers stuff.

So no Nobel prizes for literature for me. Maybe a turkey?

So anyway, eventually, I decide I might as well get up and write. What's the point in thinking about plots and scenarios? I know where I'm going now, so I might as well write it down since there's no chance of drifting back to sleep.

I grope for my fleecy jacket and make my way onto the landing. Immediately, I notice there's a strange smell in the house...

I raise my hooter to the air...the odour is a cross between waffles and...

burning.

But there's no smoke! And I haven't made any cakes( for about 20 years) what is this strange smell? Has my pussy, Mr Bond, dumped in the sugar bowl?

I wander downstairs and put the kettle on, looking for the source of this peculiar smell...

I have left a giant pan of chilli con carne cooking for at least 10 hours. I...um...forgot about it.

Fortunately, it had a lot of fluid in it. So...I guess it's only burnt to a depth of... an inch?

So, in answer to my question Am I trying to kill myself ? No, not deliberately, but I may yet succeed!

Comments

  1. UnknownFebruary 12, 2011 at 5:59 AM

    uh oh Mrs T - peraps you should have set an alert for that chili. As for your writing - you do it very well . No DQ business about that please

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jane TurleyFebruary 12, 2011 at 6:47 AM

    Thanks Mrs G ref the writing:)

    In respect of the chilli - putting a timer on would be far too logical for me! I wasn't blessed with too much common sense:)

    ReplyDelete
  3. MarieFebruary 12, 2011 at 8:58 AM

    It is five minutes to four a.m. here Jane and I am awake too!! Too bad our insomnia occurs 5 hours apart!

    Keep writing!! Even if it seems like the worst tripe at the time, you will be surprised at what nuggets might be in there. You are a great writer and a great person. Don't knock yourself!! {{{hugs}}}

    ReplyDelete
  4. MarieFebruary 12, 2011 at 8:59 AM

    Oh, and P.S.: use a kitchen timer! We don't want that talent snuffed out by a can of chili!! Or anything else for that matter.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Mrs AFebruary 12, 2011 at 9:46 AM

    Rename it Chilli con Carbon and serve it up.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jane TurleyFebruary 12, 2011 at 10:37 AM

    Marie: Crikey, is your insomnia regular??

    On the writing front. I maybe snuffed out yet but not by chilli - my money's on Mr T and the candlestick in the conservatory.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jane TurleyFebruary 12, 2011 at 10:38 AM

    Good idea Mrs A! And most appropriate.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Jane TurleyFebruary 12, 2011 at 10:39 AM

    By the way - I ate some of the chilli and I thought it actually tasted better:)))) Maybe cos it was 4 am??

    ReplyDelete
  9. G. B. MillerFebruary 12, 2011 at 12:33 PM

    Feh...I used to write like that once.

    Once.

    Then I sort of smartened up when I realized I wasn't making any sense when I got around to reading it later in the day.

    But it does make for some interesting ready thought, eh?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Jane TurleyFebruary 12, 2011 at 2:15 PM

    Hiya Georgie,

    Yeah, it's a long learning curve this writing business. Best to stick to what I know best:idiocy:)

    Gotta catch up with you soon:I've been a preoccupied as you can see...

    ReplyDelete
  11. Fran HillFebruary 12, 2011 at 3:28 PM

    10 hours?! 10 hours?! That's taking 'slow cooking' to an extreme, surely.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Jane TurleyFebruary 12, 2011 at 4:49 PM

    The fact is Fran, me and cooking just don't get on - in any form!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Mike FrenchFebruary 14, 2011 at 6:41 AM

    so every time you write now you'll need a burning pan of chilli con carne on the go?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Jane TurleyFebruary 14, 2011 at 6:46 AM

    It might not be chilli Mike, but I can manage the burning aroma quite easily:)

    ReplyDelete
  15. hillgrandmomMarch 14, 2011 at 3:04 PM

    OOOh Mrs T., it is so so very nice to know that i have company--re the forgotten chiili!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Jane TurleyMarch 14, 2011 at 3:41 PM

    If only it was just the chilli Sue...:)

    ReplyDelete

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