Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

I haven't written to you in a really really long time but this year I have a very special request. I am desperate.  I have not been able to find what I want anywhere and I need some help.

Please, please, please, please can I have some jeans that fit? You know - those ones that stay up without a belt and super glue and don't regularly fall down showing your arse to the whole world.

I don't think it's much to ask and I have been a (fairly) good girl this year and well I don't really want to trouble Him Upstairs. Cos the chance is he's more into robes and wings and stuff and I reckon on your 364 days off you probably ditch that red gear and wear faded denims. You probably look really cool - a bit like a trendy Kenny Rogers. Only with Reindeer and an unhealthy interest in elves.

Thanks - I'll leave out a really big mince pie.

Big Kisses,



  1. I thought you could get jeans in all sorts of different fittings these days. They've gone a bit like coffee - too much choice! Gone are the days when one only had to decide between Nescafe and Maxwell House.
    As you can probably tell, it's a while since I've bought jeans. I have an old pair that get used for gardening or decorating in, but aren't suitable for wearing in the street due to having holes in embarrassing places.
    I'd post a picture, but I'd probably be arrested.
    Good luck with Santa, and have a Happy Christmas.

  2. Well that's true Martin but now all but the "high waisted" jeans all fall down and trying to find "high waisted" is like trying to find a needle in a haystack - they used to be the norm but have been replaced by "sits on the waist" - which is actually "below the waist" and leads to the ungainly habit of constantly hitching up one's jeans...
    You see - it's a hard life being a woman with these fashion dilemmas!!! After my last failed purchased of jeans a few weeks ago I think I'm going to quit searching altogether if Santa doesn't deliver; I am of the age I successfully make the transfer into crimpolene:))

    Those jeans of yours sound very dubious - I hope you have high garden fences!!

    A Happy Christmas to you too:))


I am always delighted to receive comments!

My Nominees for the US and UK Elections and Other Waffle

It's the early hours of the morning, and I have had a large gin... Late-night alcohol is always a good recipe for writing gibberish. And...