Friday, December 23, 2011

Dear Santa No 2

Dear Santa,

There was something I forgot to mention yesterday.

Please, please, please can you not send my boys any Lego. I know it's selfish of me to ask but you have no idea how many hours I've spent picking up those darn pieces. Once, I even got trapped under the bed for three hours trying to rescue a miniature Lego Star Wars light sabre. I know I shouldn't have put on weight but frankly if Lego didn't exist the world would be a much safer place. Then there's been times I've got up in the night with my insomnia only to find myself hopping in agony in the hallway whilst emitting a silent scream having trodden on a rogue piece of Lego. Then there's been the countless hours I've been forced to spend building replicas of the Taj Mahal, the Houses of Parliament and the Eiffel Tower. It's not easy building those things - I mean have you ever tried building a circular dome with Lego? No?  Unless you've got the patience of a saint, a large bottle of whiskey or astigmatism you might as well strap yourself into a straight jacket.

There's also been all those times I've rescued pieces of Lego from about every human orifice possible. I'm only glad I invested in a Dyson vacuum cleaner because the suction on those things is remarkable. Oh - and there was the time I electrocuted myself rescuing a piece that had been surgically transplanted into the video machine inside a large lump of Play Doh.

So please, please, please Santa no Lego. The only type of Lego I like is the one below which is another of my favourite songs of the year. And just in case you're confused the chap in the video is Rupert Grint from the Harry Potter movies and, by the way, he needs some decent jeans too.

Thanks again.

Lots of Love,


Ps - No bloody jigsaws either.


  1. Could be worse, Jane. They could have asked for a saxophone or a drum kit instead.
    Like the new pink look, by the way. Is the colour to make up for having boys?

  2. I suppose there are small mercies in life Martin! - So whilst I quite like the idea of having a multi- millionaire pop artist as a son (especially if he showered with me expensive gifts) the twenty years of overenthusiastic drumming and squeaky guitar chords would probably make me want to top myself before I could reap my just rewards!!

    I'm not sure about this pink - I think maybe too girlie for me?? It's just I've been through pretty much every other colour...But your're probably right as I spent all my time talking boy stuff and shopping boy stuff when I do get a chance to do something girlie I rather like it. (About once every ten years.)


I am always delighted to receive comments!

My Nominees for the US and UK Elections and Other Waffle

It's the early hours of the morning, and I have had a large gin... Late-night alcohol is always a good recipe for writing gibberish. And...