How do I know this? Well this morning I spoke to my good friend Mrs B who said to me;
"Jane, I've seen a job you could do!"
Cue Mrs T getting all excited. A job suitable for Mrs T? There's not many of them around! I did think about applying for a job as a school chef a short time ago but I'm not good at cooking and I don't want to be associated with lumpy mash potato. Anyway, I decided to quit while I was ahead - I mean nobody likes to get sacked - so I saved myself the anxiety and didn't apply in the first place. Now I know you lot probably don't think I'm that bad at cooking so I might as well tell you that recently Master Jacob lodged a formal complaint about my toast. Apparently, I burn it. Hmm...and I just thought it was "well done."
Humph. I like my toast "well done". Who wants soggy toast? Not me. I hate toast that's all limp and drips marmalade down your tee-shirt. I used to have soggy toast all the time when I was living in university halls because at breakfast they rammed all the toast together in a tray and it sweated. I spent three years wearing an orange tee-shirt and smelling of citrus fruits. I don't suppose the smell was too bad but finding those marmalade chunks stuck on my chin during lectures was pretty embarrassing. I'm not even going to mention the Marmite incident. Only to say that we were studying Martin Luther King at the time and I got thrown out of my tutorial.
Some people just take things too seriously don't they? And all those left wing lecturers have no sense of humour do they? I mean when was the last time you heard a Leftie tell a joke?
Um... let me think 1789. When Robespierre said:
"I sink we should decapitate see King and Marie Antoinette! Zay 'ave far too much monet and far too many wigs. Sose wigs are far too expenzive. When zey are dead we will 'ave so much more monet to give to ze poor!"
Some time later...
"General Robespierre, we 'ave executed zee King and zee Queen and we 'ave sent all zee wigs too zee market! Soon there will be monet for everyone!
"Oh no, no, no, no. You fools! It was a joke! Now sere vill be a reign of terror!"
Anyway, I like my toast "well done" and if I make too many slices I can always use the spare ones as Frisbees. Or one of those Japanese shurikens.
Now where was I before I went off about toast? Right, so Mrs B directed me towards this job which admittedly did sound like one I could do. It even had the word "flexible" in the job description. I don't mean just "flexible" in the context that they want you (as most employers mean) to drop everything at their convenience but "flexible" in a give and take kind of way. Amazing.
So I looked at the job description. It held some promise. Mrs T is a bit rusty but well with a bit of blagging I decided I could probably do it.
The only trouble is - the job is for the local Conservative Association.
So what if it was discovered I write a sometimes "politically incorrect" blog? Imagine the headlines...
MP HAS NUTTER AS SECRETARY. GOVERNMENT POLICIES RIDICULED ON WEB BY PSYCHOPATHIC WOMAN WHO POSED AS DULL MIDDLE CLASS HOUSEWIFE.
You know, I quite fancied that job. Lots of interesting things to do. Only part time. Occasionally I even like discussing
There might even have been the odd occasion when the MP was in residence that I might have taken him some tea and toast.
However, even though this blog isn't a political blog and is essentially humorous in content I'm inclined to think my writing is a bit of a liability for that kind of a job. In fact, I suspect it could be deemed a liability for quite a few jobs.
You know, if your being rude about your employer in a public forum then you are indeed a liability to the company. There's already been quite a few such incidents in the blogosphere and other social networking sites resulting in the sacking of employees. In those circumstances, if you lose your job then my opinion is you have to take the consequences on the chin. However, sometimes I have a sneaking suspicion that even though many people/institutions tout free speech as a prerequisite of democracy they don't actually like it.
An interesting thought don't you think?