Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Ring the Bells, Sound the Trumpets!

Gosh. I must interrupt the inactivity on this blog with some exciting news for my Lady Readers.

I just heard on the radio that Arnold Schwarzenegger is splitting from that Kennedy woman!

Deck the halls with boughs of holly
Fa la la la, la la la la
Tis the season to be Jolly
Fa la la la, la la la la

Okay, it is kinda sad that after twenty-five years that Arnie and his wife can't hold it together...but on the other hand...


At last I'm in with a chance of grabbing Arnie's butt for myself. I mean, who wouldn't want a shy, retiring, svelte-like, sweet, adorable English Rose like me? Okay, I admit might not be actually "svelte-like" but  Arnie's an actor he can use his imagination, can't he? And as for the sweet, adorable bit - just ask all my friends.... it's completely true.

 At least on Mondays when the kids go to school.

So Arnie and that big cigar he's always carrying is up for grabs. Whoa Ladies! I haven't felt this excited since David Cameron was elected as our Prime Minister.  Mind you, after ten years with a Labour government and I probably would have been celebrating if Cheeta The Monkey had got into power.

You know, I didn't feel quite the same when Paul McCartney got divorced. Maybe it's because he wrote Hey Jude. I imagine he'd be a slushy, romantic kind of guy who sprinkles bed sheets with rose petals - and then waters them. Whereas Arnie would sprinkle the bedsheets with rose petals and then just rip 'em off. (The bed sheets that is.)

Anyway, the idea of making rumpy pumpy with someone who'd actually slept with Heather Mills is somewhat disconcerting. It's the leg thing, I'm afraid. Yep, I can imagine being in the throes of a second chorus of Hey Jude when suddenly a vision of a wooden leg springs to mind with Paul whispering; "I think it needs a coating of linseed oil, Heather. I'll do it tonight after I've sanded it down....."

Anyway, Arnie is free. Now, I've just got to break the news to Mr T gently....


  1. Haha! This made me giggle. :)

  2. Thanks Pixie, glad you enjoyed it:)

  3. Good luck in your pursuit of Arnie, Jane. But if I were you, I wouldn't marry him. Just imagine having to spell Swarzenegger to every call centre in the world!

  4. Hmm...Good point Martin! Shwarzenegger is a bit of a mouthful - well so I've heard:)))

  5. And after all the other revelations, surely you don't want the Governator....Of course, I guess, whatever the revelations, it doesn't make the A butt any less hot???

  6. Well his butt is still hot Sue but I must admit after all the revelations I've lost interest a bit! I suppose it's no surprise that a man like Arnie has "dabbled" but the fact it was in his own house under his wife's nose and then he kept the maid on for 20 years is rather amazing to say the least!


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