Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Men and Women: Together at Odds.

This post was inspired by Georgie B (with thanks) who got me thinking about the differences between men and women:

1. Men like women's breasts. Women also like breasts. Particularly with peas, baked potato and a light mayo: we always appreciate a low calorie meal.

2. Men like women's backsides. The only backsides women like are the ones on their way out of the door at 7am. Unless the backside belongs to Arnold Schwarzenegger when we concede that firm buttocks can be attractive- especially when coated in $2000 Armani suit.

3.Men like women's legs. (Unless they belong to Helga the Russian shot putter) Women think men's legs are funny. Especially when men keep their socks on during sex or when they belong to Tom Cruise.

4. Men like women's underwear. Sometimes they even wear it. Women think both men's and women's underwear is laughable. They would never wear men's underwear although they might use it to polish the doorknockers, clean the toilet, or fashion a turban should they find themselves outnumbered at a PTA meeting.

5. Men like women in stilettos. Women like men with stilettos - especially if they look Italian and don't live in The Vatican.

6. Men like women with painted nails. Women like men with painted nails - especially when they've painted the dining room, the lounge, the hallway, the kitchen, the bathroom, the bedrooms and the small cupboard under the stairs.

7. Men like women in skirts and gymslips. Women like men in skirts and gymslips - in a mental institution.

8. Men like women wearing nothing but a fur coat. Women like men fully dressed - women know that what lies beneath a man's clothes makes them want to laugh out loud. Especially on chilly days.

9. Men can't take their eyes of a woman who is bending over. Women can take their eyes of a man who is bending over - because generally speaking it's always a good idea to look at the oncoming traffic when you're crossing the road.

10. Men like women with glossy hair. Women like men with glossy hair. If a women loses her hair a man divorces her. If a man loses his hair the woman sticks a lampshade on his head and stands him in the corner of the room.

11. Men love women. Women love men. And somehow, despite all the odds, together we make music.

4 comments:

  1. Thanks for the shout out and I was glad that I was able to inspire you, and you definitely improved on my post about this particular topic.

    And gave a good chuckle to boot.

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  2. Now now...I find that if I get really cold feet, I get cramp in my foot. So because foreplay is soooooo not about getting the good woman to gently warm my feet up, I have to wear my socks. And anyway, they are batman ones and I think that regardless of the "You are pathetic...TAKE THE DAMN SOCKS OFF!" comments that she makes, I think it works for her.

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  3. Hilarious Mrs T! I think the way forward is to wear women's underwear. You might enjoy it and if you're wearing it she s not - win-win :)

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  4. Thanks G:) What can I say? Your blog often gets me thinking - at the moment I'm thinking I should be writing more sex and violence:))
    I think I'm too tame - what d'you think?!

    Yeah, yeah Sy - so now you gonna tell me you got the cape as well the socks?!

    The only trouble is knowing your sense of humour I can well believe it!!!!! Poor Mrs Sy:)

    Gary, Hmm.. I can picture you in suspenders quite easily. Now why is that?? Will you take off the garter though - I think you're over doing it and I'm feeling queasy now!

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