Okay it's not more stories of how I got caught short. So you can sink back into your chair and relax. I thought I'd take time out to tell you some news.
Firstly, it's all change at The View From Here where the team has been joined by some huge names in British publishing including Scott Pack of The Friday Project (Harper Collins), leading literary agent Simon Trewin of United Artists, publisher, poet and author Alessandro Gellenzi of Alma Books, editor and publicist Luke Brown of Tindal Press and the MD of Legend Press Tom Chalmers (who recently I dressed up in a skirt and sequins in my review of The Grease Monkey's Tale) as well as a good few others.
The arrival of these new contributors is a big endorsement for The View From Here in our quest to bring new life to the world of literary magazines and showcase new talent alongside established names.
As for me, I will now be writing for the printed and digital versions only so if you've not taken a gander at those you can follow the links on my web page or pop over to The View From Here. You can even subscribe to the digital version via The View From Here website for a ridiculous $1.00 0r 69p an issue. That's incredible since you get unique articles, original fiction, book reviews and interviews with some of the biggest names in fiction. Next months magazine contains an interview with science fiction author Iain Banks!
Hmm....can you tell I used to work in sales?! Come on you know you want it really; how can you afford to miss out on Mrs T's unique literary ramblings? Okay, don't answer that question; I've got my pride you know. Still, if you lot want to read The Beano who am I to complain!
Right, now I've got that stuff out of the way let's talk about something really important - knickers. Big knickers.
Well Thank God - big knickers are finally back. Yep, those wretched things called thongs which are only good for catapults, French skipping and dental flossing are on their way out. And big knickers are back in. Hoorah! Apparently, according to a host of retailers, sales of thongs have been falling and big knickers growing.
Hmm..there's a joke it that somewhere but I'm not going there. I've only just had my breakfast.
Anyway, personally I'm delighted. Thongs are the most uncomfortable invention ever, no doubt invented by men for men and not actually for the comfort of women. So at last I can throw out those cheese graters which I've been forced to wear on "special occasions" without any guilt whatsoever; I can just tell Mr T I'm keeping up with fashion! God knows what he'll buy me for Christmas though without the pull of the underwear counter... I could be back to leg warmers and mittens. Ah well, it beats the hell of getting a thong in your Christmas cracker...
Right, that's it for the moment, it's the school holidays and I'm off to M&S to stock up on big knickers and school jumpers. See you ladies in the lingerie queue!
Oh - and see you gents at the sock counter; I know what I'm getting Mr T for Christmas.