Monday, December 14, 2009

Music Monday; Kenny & Dolly & the adventurous tales of Mrs T

Well you can tell from my last two posts that I have the Bee Gees on my mind at the moment. I'm still playing them in the car and singing enthusiastically along to Jive Talkin', Saturday Night fever, Stayin' Alive and many other classic Bee Gee tracks. I haven't managed to reach Barry's falsetto highs yet - although I did come quite close when singing Tragedy when I saw yet another car parked at the bottom of my drive.

But let's not forget that the BeeGees, in particular Barry Gibb, have also written some fabulous tunes that have been recorded by a host of other artists including Frankie Vali (Grease), Dionne Warwick (HeartBreaker), Diana Ross (Chain Reaction) and of course Barbra Streisand as mentioned in my last Music Monday post. However, today I thought I'd play Islands in the Stream sung by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers but also written by the Bee Gees. I love the country and western feel they've put into this tune and what I like about both these artists is the way they are such natural singers; no beating of breasts, straining of voices... the songs just slip out with such joyful ease. Easy listening at its best.

Dolly is just great isn't she? Such an infectious happy personality. It really comes across how much she loves singing and performing. Mind you I'd be happy if I had assets like her. But what I really want to know is - how the hell does she stand up? Why doesn't she topple over? Has she got concrete in her heels? It's not fair, the last time I tried padding my modest 36c bra out with some stuffing I fell over and hit my head on the kerb. Mind you, perhaps I shouldn't have used wet Paxo. Maybe the cotton wool would have been a wiser option. Some women have all the luck, well all the boobs anyway. My boobs amount to car crashes and putting my foot in it on a regular basis. (And I'm not just talking about what you find on the sidewalk.) In fact, after I listened to Islands in the Stream on You Tube I listened to one of my other Dolly favourites Jolene and I remembered a time I put my foot in it good and proper. Take a listen to Dolly's chat prior to singing to Jolene.......

Yep, when Dolly talks about the song and about how it is about getting into fight with another women - the Jolene of the title - Mrs T remembered when she once put her foot in it and got into a fight with another girl.

Okay, pick yourselves up on the floor! I've never had a fight over a man (Although if I ever get within 200 feet of Mrs Pierce Brosnan I may have to be issued with a restraining order.) Yep, it was a case of Mrs T not knowing when to keep her mouth shut.....

I was about 13 at the time when we were playing indoor rounders. (That's like baseball) One of the school bullies deliberately tripped over my friend, Monique, to stop her from scoring and she went flying onto the hard floor. Well Mrs T (or Miss D as I was then) was upset cos not only was that extremely unkind but Monique was your genuine dizzy blonde and as harmless as a butterfly. Picking on her, out of everyone, seemed grossly unfair. So anyway Mrs T (not being wise) spoke up and said something like (being the sweet girl I was) "That wasn't a very nice thing to do." (Seriously folks - I was that polite back then!)

However, registering any discontent was obviously not the thing to do with school bullies -because after the lesson ended and we returned to the changing rooms Mrs T found herself cornered by the school bully and her cronies. Ohhhhhhh yes, and Mrs T knew what was coming next...Mrs T was expected to meek and compliant. But as the school bully's hand lashed out to hit poor Mrs T, Mrs T thought.......

" I am going to paste you, you skinny little bully!" (Roughly translated you understand.)

And although folks Mrs T doesn't condone violence in any way, shape or form sometimes she thinks......well you just got to stand up for yourself.

So a dramatic fight ensued.....out of the changing rooms....into the showers.....all the girls were standing around screaming and yelling whilst the bully and I beat and clawed each other. Well she clawed ...I just landed a few right hooks and searing blows to the stomach - I wasn't Right Back in the school hockey team for nothin' you know.

Umm......Perhaps I'd better point out for all my male readers who may at this point have some fanciful ideas about wet naked teenagers in showers that I still had my gymslip on.....

Anyway, let's just say somebody was losing and it wasn't Mrs T. However, all the noise reverberating from the changing rooms attracted the attention of the teachers who came and broke the fight up. Which was fortunate for the school bully because she got to keep her looks - just.

Shame about the nose though.

Anyway the good Mrs T didn't get into trouble when all was explained and you know what? For the remainder of my school years I never had any trouble from the school bullies and neither did Monique.

Enough said.

Except for -I'm a nice girl really. Honest I am.

Hmm....that post was too much information wasn't it? Oh well, obviously I've still got a big gob.

Darn it. Some people never learn. Mainly me though.


  1. I am concerned. I thought all girls fights had to be in jelly or mud. In bikinis. With me watching or more importantly, taking part. Can I take part? Please?

  2. Oh alright then Sy, next time I get in a girlie fight you can play too...don't forget to wear those cute little shorts though:)

  3. I LOVE Dolly Parton. Love, love, love her.

  4. Though I'm no fan of Country, must confess Dolly Parton's voice and songs usually work for me. Loved your story too, Mrs T... with or without the jelly... although the jelly would've been nice. Sy is obviously a man of fine taste.

  5. Ms. Jane,

    Queen of the schoolyard!

    I bow down to the ground to say, "I'm not worthy to be in the presence of such pure athleticism!"

  6. Lawyer Mom..

    Yeah there's something really likeable about her. Songs are pretty good too:)


    Well I have to say I like a little Country. I like some of the more "modern" country too - if I can call it that - Shania Twain is great and I like The Dixie Chicks too.... we may have some of those soon as I tend to get stuck in phases of music for a while:)

    Yep, that's one of my more colourful stories...and unfortunately all true. Oh - I did forget that bit where I karate high kicked her, headbutted her and doused her head under the shower.... (Oh Mrs T laughs.... Might just have exaggerated on that last bit...)'s such fun writing! Only wish I discovered it earlier. I need at least 5 years to complete a novel at the rate I'm going.....

    Master Sy is nuts: We get on well:)

    Ps ... Think I better issue a secondary statement that I don't endorse violence in any way. (Unless there's only one bar of Fruit & Nut left at the Newsagents when obviously it's first come first served. Of course how you get to be first is open to debate.....)

  7. G,

    Thank You, Thank You!

    I think perhaps I was more of a humour queen than an athletic queen even back in my school days:)

    These days if I did a high kick the only thing I'm likely to "take out" is the cat.

  8. Wow Mrs T, what a good friend! [Of course I don't condone violence either.]

  9. Ah Sue,

    I am extremely pleased to hear you don't condone violence either:)))

    It was one of those situations that developed rapidly ... my mouth often speaks before my brain kicks in... but in this instance it probably worked out for the best:)

  10. Wanted to add that 'Islands in the
    stream' is the "our song" for my daughter and her hubby :-)


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