Wednesday, June 18, 2014

A Eye-Opening Question


How is it possible to own so many pairs of reading glasses and not be able to find a single pair?

I am almost embarrassed to mention the exact number of pairs. They're not all prescription glasses (just in case you think I'm loaded) I have two pairs from the 99p shop, several pairs from the "slightly better packaging almost 99p shop" and then there's some others from the cheap chemist...

And I can't find a single pair.

Grr.

In  desperation, I have taken to wearing glasses on my head and on a string around my neck like some mad old biddy. 

But most of the time that doesn't work either.

I doomed, doomed to an old age squinting at pictures and print whilst unintentionally signing myself up for constipation supplements. 

Doomed, I tell you.

I'm also tired of checking for the whereabouts of my glasses by tapping myself on the head which causes people to think I'm some sort of fruitcake. They should be grateful I don't stick my tongue out and sing "It's A Long Way to Tipperary" as well.

But there's good news, folks, whilst I am having to write this blog post in large print to see what the hell I am doing - I do not yet need glasses for driving.

Well that's what my lawyer said.

You know, I've had a good idea for a new kids' picture book series. It would be like Where's Wally but would be called Where's Mum's Glasses. 

I could make a whole series out of that for sure. Might even follow it up with a second series called Where's Mum's Car Keys.


When I said I couldn't find my glasses my neighbour kindly offered her dog to read to me. It's torture - I don't understand a word he's saying. Still, we've become great friends - I took him for a walk and he watered my plants. You can't say fairer than that.





4 comments:

  1. Earlier tonight, I left the house wearing my computer/reading prescription glasses (instead of my everyday glasses). Dropped daughter off, who lives on unlit country road. Backing out, scrapped paint on my Dodge - realised had wrong glasses on. Luckily I'm single, so don't need to do the 'honey I scratched the car thing.' Ageing eyes.....pfftt!

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    1. The "Honey, I scratched the car thing" is a big problem in our house, Karen. Although, to be fair to Mr T, it's usually a little bit more than a "scratch" :D

      Quite nice to drive off and not have to worry about making the "announcement" though. Just go home, touch it up with some air-fix paint and forget about it. Sweet Joy!

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  2. I guess the only thing to do is get graded glasses and wear them all the time!

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    1. Yes, I suppose that's a possibility, Sue - but I read somewhere (can't remember where) that lots of accidents are due to those types of glasses - re-adjusting the vision cause people to fall over. I think I'd rather search for my glasses - I can foresee lots of trips to casualty otherwise:D

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