Wednesday, June 18, 2014
A Eye-Opening Question
How is it possible to own so many pairs of reading glasses and not be able to find a single pair?
I am almost embarrassed to mention the exact number of pairs. They're not all prescription glasses (just in case you think I'm loaded) I have two pairs from the 99p shop, several pairs from the "slightly better packaging almost 99p shop" and then there's some others from the cheap chemist...
And I can't find a single pair.
In desperation, I have taken to wearing glasses on my head and on a string around my neck like some mad old biddy.
But most of the time that doesn't work either.
I doomed, doomed to an old age squinting at pictures and print whilst unintentionally signing myself up for constipation supplements.
Doomed, I tell you.
I'm also tired of checking for the whereabouts of my glasses by tapping myself on the head which causes people to think I'm some sort of fruitcake. They should be grateful I don't stick my tongue out and sing "It's A Long Way to Tipperary" as well.
But there's good news, folks, whilst I am having to write this blog post in large print to see what the hell I am doing - I do not yet need glasses for driving.
Well that's what my lawyer said.
You know, I've had a good idea for a new kids' picture book series. It would be like Where's Wally but would be called Where's Mum's Glasses.
I could make a whole series out of that for sure. Might even follow it up with a second series called Where's Mum's Car Keys.