Saturday, September 12, 2009

The View From My Driveway.....

Yes, I'm back from my holiday! Now before I get started on my encounters with the Cypriot sewerage system, precarious roads, ear infections, turbulence and other matters relating to my travels I need to get something out of the way.


Yes, you've guessed it. Another bloody Nissan Micra (Sport edition). Parked opposite my driveway.

And yes, it did provide good sport. But probably not the kind the owner was envisioning.

Now let's be truthful if you owned a Nissan Micra, or indeed any car, would you park it opposite my driveway?

Personally, I blame Pierce Brosnan. If he didn't keep sending me those piccys of him in his tux and those steamy emails I would never lose my concentration. The problem is as I'm reversing I get this picture in my head of Pierce's butt and then WHAM, BAM there is sudden collision.

Unfortunately, it's not the one I'm imagining.......

Ah well it's been a hell of an 18 months. About everything that could have gone wrong has gone wrong and I've gone from an unblemished driving record to an insurer's nightmare.

But you know I try to keep going. I really do. So after I beat the living daylights out of my neighbours bin, ran up and down the road with fury, ranted, cursed, sobbed and drove up my driveway with such fury I left tyre burns I decided there was only one thing I could do.....

Get reversing sensors.

I'm just hoping that this last episode will be last in a long cycle of gloomy incidents that have plagued me for the last 2 years.

Cos you know, even clowns cry.


Yeah, okay that was some real self pitying stuff. I better get my act together - otherwise I'll never get that contract with L'oreal. Right, where's the vino.......


  1. Isn't parking opposite a driveway against the law? It should be. I have bad car luck, too. But usually it's just my own car that gets hurt. Though I did once sideswipe a Range Rover while wearing my pajamas in the carpool drop-off line.

  2. Oh no! Not another one. Whew! At least you backed into it. Tell the truth. You were texting right? At least you didn't run into the car head on. Then I'd be concerned. Hang in there. That's why they call it an accident!

  3. I have reversed into bollards in plain view...
    Plenty of vino down here - any time!

  4. Hello Lawyer Mum,

    Welcome to My Witty Ways!

    You know it is so refreshing to hear someone else goes out of the house in their PJs! I have driven in my slippers before now, worn my clothes inside out and the wrong way round and yesterday it was so cold that when I had a late night pick up for my eldest I just popped my dressing gown over my t- shirt and jeans! However..I've never worh the full PJ regalia (especially to work!) I therefore commend you with the highest honour of Super Nutty Mum!( I usually come in poll postion for this award so I'm mightily relieved to pass it on!!)

    Oh - unfortunately we don't have a law against parking opposite someone's driveway:(

    I have to admit my car hasn't come off too badly in my various encounters but unfortunately everything I hit seems to crumple like a tin can:)

  5. Nope I wasn't texting Mr I ! I never use my mobile in the car - just think what a hazard I would be if that was the case! I've reversed out of my driveway with a various assortment of vans/ cars parked across the road - and for years in my Volvo estate which was much larger than my present car. I just guess my luck has run dry lately. I suspect I drive alot more than most house mums too (20,000 miles since I got my Cmax) so maybe the law of averages has just caught up with me. The good thing is that all my accidents have involved stationary cars and no one was hurt. In the long run (I hope) I'll be a better driver!

    I've no plans to run headlong into anything just yet -not unless I come across a tanker of spilt liquid chocolate - in which case I may have to do a rollover:))))

  6. Excellent, excellent Mrs A! That's just what I like to hear - re both the bollards and the vino!

    The good thing about driving into bollards is that no one cares and you can just drive away! Unfortunately, I always feel duty bound to admit to my sins. Damn my morals - they are just sooo expensive:)

    Ps - notice correct spelling of "stationary". Please inform Mr A that I require a gold star:)

  7. Welcome back Jane! Good to have your humour back in town :-)

  8. Thanks Mike. Believe me, I needed a sense of humour when I saw the estimate for repair this morning. I've only just recovered from the shock. What's even more annoying is that the school teacher whose car I hit said I could just "pop" the cheque into the village school - what a casual expression! Rather, I fancy, like she "popped" her car opposite my driveway - with no consideration for the local residents. Anyone would think it was just a small amount of money! Yeah, I'm not mad - I'm livid!

    Well that's another rant over. Hmm.. what next?

  9. That description of you reversing your car was hilarious - but next time I demand pictures. Yaya I know you got those sensors and there will be no more dramatic reversals which is good. I meant those piccys that pierce sends you!

  10. Those piccys are all mine Usha:))And belive me there are some good close ups:)

    Gez, it's great having an imagination.... although that's not what the Doc says.....


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