Monday, February 18, 2008

A Word of Thanks from Jane, The Witty and Wayward Wife...and some other stuff...

Well folks, before I retreat in to my usual idiocy, I want to say a few words of thanks.

However, first I must inform you that both the washing machine and the cooker bit the dust last week. I have taken great delight in this…why I would have a genuine excuse not to wash and iron and even more importantly, not to cook. Hurrah! Oh, I have had dreams of this for years, fantasies of a relaxing week, indulging myself in a scrumptious box of chocolates whilst watch the steaming pile of fetid laundry grow so enormous that Mr Turley would be forced to employ a Housekeeper to prevent my imminent breakdown…..

But Alas! Woe, woe, woe is me, for Mr Turley, who has an affection for cleanliness and tidiness uncommon amongst his gender, dashed to his computer with undignified speed to peruse the internet for a replacement washing machine. (The said item being ancient and worn out by cycle upon cycle of dirty wretched football attire and not in the least worth repairing.)

So regrettably, and with a heavy heart and a clutch of tissues I must inform you that the replacement instrument of torture arrives on Wednesday.

Blast and double blast; I bet this never happens to HRH.

And what of the cooker I hear you say? Well… It is a double oven type thingy. Now I’m not good on ovens but I can assure you it does have knobby style things for adjusting the temperature (which frankly is not much use to me as I only have one temperature for cooking and that is the temperature at which everything burns) and also a door for opening and closing but that’s about as far as I can describe it. Oh, yes it’s white and somewhat…greasy.

Now Mr Turley, my veritable and beloved one, has informed me that I can cook in the little oven bit and also on the hob bit until such time has he has given the matter his full undivided attention.

No, no, no! I was planning an Indian takeaway, a Chinese Takeaway, A Mexican Takeaway……….

Why does he make me suffer unduly like this? I must still cook? How can a tray of oven chips, onion rings and pies fit into such a tiny space? It is not possible. I will have to mash them up into some kind of pizza in order to squeeze them all in. Perhaps I shall call it “The Turley Pizza Surprise.” The “Surprise” being that it may not be edible….

Anyway, a Big, Big, Thank You to all who have contributed to the lively discussion on the possibility of a new title for my blog; I’ve had such fun reading all your comments and enjoying all the repartee behind the scenes. Indeed, I have as much fun, if not more, enjoying all your conversations as I do writing my posts. A special Thankyou to Onedia, my first friend here in the blogging world, who came up trumps with the winning title. Thanks Onedia!

And now, alas, I must depart, for it was an early half term here last week and I am way behind with those household chores which I love so dearly. And as much as I adore my little fellows when the School bell rang this morning it’s sweet, ethereal chimes did sound like heavenly music in my ears….

“Freedom! Freedom!” I cried with joyous abandon, running towards the school gate...

Well till 3pm anyway……

© Jane Turley 2008


  1. I am truly shocked - don't these machines that have served us so faithfully for years deserve a decent mourning period before we rush in unseemly haste to replace them with a new one. I think you must stage a protest and declare a few weeks mourning period when the kitchen and laundary will remain locked while you drown your sorrow in bars of chocolate and blogging about it.

    Try and tell me if it works - i will drop something into my washing machine.

  2. Hello Jane - how's the new motor?

  3. Oh, Usha you've got me thinking about that dreaded washing machine again. Now I shall have to answer your comment in full in the form of a second blog, hopefully tomorrow! (After the school bell has rung obviously!)

    Ah Mrs Anon..welcome back! Why the new motor is performing most admirably. Indeed, I will blogging very soon on the departure of my old faithful and the arrival of my new (slightly smaller)tank and the the art of being a "Lady Racer."

  4. I am so with you there! The nerve of him destoying the heavenly idea of perfectly good "take-out".....7 days a week. Oh, I just got a little dreamy. I would roll up my apron, and tie it around my forehead like a bandana, and sing about liberation in the streets.

  5. Simple reminders I must jot down before I forget about the British language...

    English "Takeaway" = American "Takeout"

    English "Cooker" = American "Oven"

    Got it. Anyway, Mr. Turley must love your cooking if he wants another cooker so soon! Who needs takeaway when someone you love is willing (or not) to prepare a meal full of married love. hah.

    Hope you enjoyed your temporary freedom from the little people. I'm still amazed that you had children so early in your marriage - at least you won't be one of those old grandma-looking parents at your kids' graduation. =)

  6. Ah Mewie you are indeed a gentleman to say I would not look ancient at my son's graduation....

    ...but alas I may look like a doughnut instead.

    A tasty one though.

  7. I must say Mr Turley is a brave man - quite unfazed by thoughts of his wife going on a protest strike with 2 important appliances having upped and died on her . Dear Jane you must stage a protest and place a charter of demands

    BTW came here thru Onedia , our common blog friend


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