Monday, March 9, 2015

25 Bookish Things Males Have Actually Read By The Age of 25

If you're an avid reader, you've probably read one of the many articles advising you which books to read before you're 18/25/30/40/dead. Well, last week I came across a lively discussion on Facebook about the dominance of male authors in many of these lists. Unfortunately, some accusations about male misogyny were being bounded about. I was reasonably impartial about this accusation as I happen to like men (cough, cough) and probably read more books by male authors than I do by women authors.

However, this morning I have cleaned the Young Master's bedrooms and transferred the good Mr T's underpants from the bathroom floor to the laundry basket so I am not feeling so impartial. As a consequence I have come up with my own take on these annoying book lists. My list is called:

 Twenty-Five Bookish Things Males Have Actually Read By The Age of Twenty-Five.

It's not your standard list. Obviously. But it is, nevertheless, a very important list.

Right here we go:

3. Thomas the Tank Engine - A Cow on the Line. (Trains + farm animals = deep joy.)  
5. The Dandy (4th Dec 2012 - last physical edition - perfect collectible for every saddo Dandy geek.)
8. The Viz - any edition. (Ideal reading material for an intimate bonding experience between father and son.)
9. The leaflet inside a packet of condoms. (Any brand.)
10. The rear of a packet of Kellog's Cornflakes.
11. The dating adverts in their local paper.
12. The telephone numbers scrawled inside their local phone box
13. The menu at the local Chinese Takeaway.
15. The lingerie section of their mother's mail order catalogue. 
16. The Sun newspaper. (Available at the local barber's shop.)

Farrah Fawcett 1977.JPG
Farrah Fawcett in 1977 - the golden haired icon of a generation who had men drooling before lunchtime.
Picture courtesy of Wikipedia. (Public domain.)

17. Their exam results slip. ( Very briefly - before returning their attention to No 21)
18. The washing instructions on the jeans they haven't cleaned for eight weeks and the bedlinen they haven't cleaned for twelve weeks.
19. The product description on a Lamborghini Roadster.
20. The price tag and mileage on a 2002 Vauxhall Corsa.
22. The Google search results for Keira Knightly.
23. Captain Underpants and the Tyrannical Retaliation of the Turbo Toliet 2000.(Kid's book with universal male appeal.)
24 The alcohol content on a litre bottle of cider.
25. Their sister's diary. (Especially the section on menstruation.)


So there we have it. I think I have more than made up for all that male bias in those books-to-read lists. 

*Sticks tongue out.*

Also, if you want a darn good read by a female author read my novel. It's (almost) a work of genius. And a bargain price. 

4 comments:

  1. My two favorite authors are both male, Earl Hamner Jr. and John Steinbeck. My husband hates reading. So I was super surprised to find him in the book section of Target the other night. I asked him if he was going to get a book, he says no that he was just looking. I was hoping my love for reading had rubbed off on him, I guess not haha!

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    1. Hello Robyn and welcome to my blog:) Similar story here with the good Mr T, I'm afraid. I would love it he was more interested in literature - sadly he is more interested in the TV remote control.

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  2. Heavens to Mergatroid! I missed that December '92 edition with Sharon Stone. Better order one..... :) Hiya Miss Jane. Good Post.

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    1. Now don't go telling me porkies, Mr I:)

      That Transformers wordspeak is slightly worrying, you know Mr I. Have you been on some long distance flights lately?

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