Monday, February 16, 2015

Bad Parenting and The Beginning of a New Journey

Last night, Mr T, the boys and I were all watching Expendables 3 when we got to this scene:

When new recruit, Luna, finished kicking ass this was the conversation:

Master Jacob; She's just like Mum

Mr T: Yep, that's just what your mother was like when I met her.

Huh? I am not tall, blonde or leggy. I don't even do karate!

Later there was a scene where Antonio Banderas, as another new crazed Expendable recruit, says something to the effect of "I just like killing people". Master Jacob piped up again;

Oh that's just like Mum too.

What? I've never even hurt a fly!

Well maybe a couple. But nobody, nobody, touches my chocolate without my permission.

Okay, so there might possibly have been a few wasps as well. But they deserved it.

And there might have been a few of those slugs that keep invading my kitchen. But that was really my salt pot. It fell over by its own accord.

And I had absolutely nothing to do with the dead rat in the compost bin. My conscience is clear. Almost.

Yeah, so there we were watching The Expendables 3 and there was yet another scene where Stallone was kicking some ass and blasting off his gun and... apparently I am like that too.

Yep, so Mr T, Master Jacob and Master Ben all thought it was very funny indeed to make jokes at my expense. Poor Mrs T was deeply wounded.

I should have had daughters who would help me do the cleaning and ironing. But no, I get three sons and a husband who have no idea what the words "toilet brush" means. Life is so unfair.

You see, Dear Readers, once you get a reputation for not putting up with drivers who cut you up on roundabouts and who drive too close to your bumper you can never get rid of it.

Once you get a reputation for not putting up with cheating tennis players and their sycophantic parents you can never get rid off it.

Once you get a reputation for not putting up with slothful teachers and giving the headmistress a piece of your mind you can never get rid of it.

So my advice is - if you have potential "incidents" on the road, on the sports pitch or at school keep your cursing and name-calling to yourself. Do NOT use hand gestures.

So other than that very sound advice ( I always give quality parenting advice on this blog) the news is I am writing a sequel to The Changing Room which I hope to publish next year. In the meantime, the ebook of The Changing Room is on sale for 99p/99c this week on all ebooks sites including Amazon, ibooks, Barnes and Noble, Kobo and Smashwords.  It will never be this cheap again so if you haven't grabbed a copy yet now's the time as, in the spring, my novel is being relaunched with a new cover by one the UK's leading publicists. As a self-published author it has been a very hard slog to get any sort of visibility. In fact, it has pretty much been zero. So I'm very pleased indeed that a publicist who represents some of the foremost contemporary writers has enough belief in my book to offer to represent it. I've been warned it will still be very tough-going as many people in publishing still have no regard for self-published books. However, after weighing up all the pros and cons, I decided that you get very few chances in life and this was one I was going to take.

"This book is by far one of the funniest books I have ever read. " A Goodson.
Check out more reviews HERE

So next month I turn fifty and I begin a new journey. A big Thank You to all my friends and blog readers who have supported my writing endeavours for the past eight years or more and who have helped to make my writing journey so far a really enjoyable one. Thanks, folks!


  1. Daughters to help you with the cleaning and ironing?!?! ha ha ha ha Wait, I just fell out of my chair laughing. I have to get back to it. ha ha ha Ok, let me wipe my eyes and catch my breath. The only thing my daughters ever cleaned was my bank account. They cheerfully cleaned it out on a regular basis. lol

    Love you, Mrs. T!! I feel terribly guilty I haven't caught up with your published works yet, but I will soon. I am so proud of you, and happy for you, that you are following your dreams. You are a great role model for your boys! I guarantee despite the teasing they are very proud of you.

    1. I have friends who have girls help them with lots of stuff! But your's didn't Marie? I think we must be both too much of a soft touch. LOL Master Jacob is always saying I am the "Best mummy in the world" but I am pretty sure he is trying to con me.......

      Well when you're ready to read my offerings then I hope you enjoy them, Marie. It's all bonkers stuff of course:D


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