Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Woe, woe, woe is me!

I am in my study, writing. The door flies open.

Master Ben (aged 12): I am taller than you!

Mrs T: No, you are not!

Master Ben: Yes, I am: Daddy measured me!

Mrs T: No, you are not! When I look at you I look down into your eyes.

Master Ben: I am taller than you!

Mrs T: Right, I'm going to check this myself!

Mrs T and Master Ben troop downstairs and after arduous amount of checking, double checking and checking again, Mr T and Master Jacob conclude Master Ben and I are exactly the same height which is 4 feet 4.5 inches.

Mrs T: I still don't believe it! Master Jacob get that file over there. Now, Ben and I will stand back-to-back, you will put the file on our heads and if it slopes downwards from my head to his that means I'm taller!

Master Jacob places the file on our heads.

Master Jacob: The file is even: you are both EXACTLY the same height.

Mrs T: But that can't be right! When I look at Master Ben his eyes are below mine. Pass me that ruler: we're going to measure the distance between the centre of our eyes and the top of our heads.

Master Jacob measures my head. I measure Master Ben's head. Mr T looks on in bewilderment.

Mrs T: Your eyes are set lower than mine, Master Ben, which means... you have a massive head! I have a SMALL head and you have a BIG head!

Master Jacob: You see, you are the same height!

Master Ben: I'm going to be bigger than you, Mummy.

Mrs T. Hmm.

Master Jacob: You didn't get enough sleep when you were young, Mummy. I expect you stayed up too late reading and didn't go to bed.

Mrs T: Hmmmmmm.....

Have you ever felt your own words come back to haunt you?


  1. Jane I am amazed that you aren't very tall! From your punchy writing style I'd guessed you were Amazonian (not the shopping website) which is a compliment by the way.

    Anna May x

  2. Thanks for the compliment, Anna May:)

    Yes, I'm afraid I'm a shortie! My boys get their height from their dad who is 6, 6 : I am shortly to acquire the title of The Little One:))


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