tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735085699153339257.post667384741858864919..comments2024-02-06T12:09:18.943+00:00Comments on The Witty Ways of a Wayward Woman: It's nearly Christmas...Jane Turleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01441332018679664175noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735085699153339257.post-65348011260675886852008-09-17T12:00:00.000+01:002008-09-17T12:00:00.000+01:00Good Morning Mrs B,Yes the dreaded "C" word is fas...Good Morning Mrs B,<BR/><BR/>Yes the dreaded "C" word is fast approaching! Doing the shopping is bad enough but also I'm sick of dressing up as Santa and getting stuck down that ruddy chimney every year... <BR/><BR/>Huh.. equal oppportunities.<BR/><BR/>You reckon Master B is well balanced eh??? Let me remind you of something vital you may have forgotten...<BR/><BR/>He is my son.Jane Turleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01441332018679664175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735085699153339257.post-15857490445441200562008-09-17T11:52:00.000+01:002008-09-17T11:52:00.000+01:00Mewie,Please check the use of your word "Scrumptio...Mewie,<BR/><BR/>Please check the use of your word "Scrumptious" in this context... such a word is blasphemous in Mrs T's cooking vocabulary....<BR/><BR/>However, the shooting bit does sound quite appealing... and I've found that one doesn't have to be too accurate with a twelve bore.<BR/><BR/>Oh dear, I think I gave away a secret away there...<BR/><BR/>Now I seem to remember Mewie you are but 28 years old; just a youngster compared to the older, more mature and experienced Mrs T...<BR/><BR/>Please feel free to drop round the pool whenever you like....I don't think Mrs B will object either...<BR/><BR/>Welcome Farrah,<BR/><BR/>What is it with kids?? I had such simple expectations as a child.. you know, like a doll.. (Action Man obviously) Now it always has to be something weird or expensive...<BR/><BR/>Mind you the year before last Master Jacob asked me for curtains for his bedroom.. I kinda felt guilty as he only had blinds...<BR/><BR/>Tamera,<BR/><BR/>Master Sy is responsible for a lot of lunacy but even I can't blame him for my son's requests. I've no idea where he got the idea from although the fact that I asked Mr T for a pig had something to do with it. (I've always fancied curing my own bacon.)<BR/><BR/>Luckily, the only hot flushes I've had so far are the ones when I've gone out with my skirt tucked in my tights. Although last year I kept waking up at night dripping in sweat..thinking "This is it, this is it, this is where my boobs droop faster than Elizabeth Taylor's chin.... " and then I remembered it was August and we still had the summer quilt on....Jane Turleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01441332018679664175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735085699153339257.post-74567385617261547002008-09-17T11:18:00.000+01:002008-09-17T11:18:00.000+01:00Master Sy,I would suggest for your needs you try R...Master Sy,<BR/><BR/>I would suggest for your needs you try Ralgex instead; I guarantee you will get a hot result!<BR/><BR/>Welcome Mr Speedy,<BR/><BR/>Hmm.. I just love your praise!Is that how you sweet talked Bette Midler into running that chicken business with you? Or did you just tickle her with feathers you sly Old Bird???Jane Turleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01441332018679664175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735085699153339257.post-70716067912445643622008-09-17T10:24:00.000+01:002008-09-17T10:24:00.000+01:00You cannot be serious! I read the C-word (Christm...You cannot be serious! I read the C-word (Christmas), and nearly stopped right there. In a panic, I have now bought the first present, taken it back to the shop and exchanged it for something else. (It is now safely squirrelled away and will probably be found again in March ...) Please, in future, precede all mentions of the C-word with a Health and Safety warning, at least until December. Thanks!<BR/><BR/>On a different note, what a great Christmas list and what a well-balanced child you must have. There's a bit of technology there and a bit of an aspiration towards nature, animals, self-reliance etc etc. Having said that, I wouldn't want a pet chicken either. Way to go, Mrs T!fordfocusmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04038038065550719517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735085699153339257.post-75498194825271879472008-09-17T04:10:00.000+01:002008-09-17T04:10:00.000+01:00A whaaaaaaaaa? a chicken? Has Sy been talking to y...A whaaaaaaaaa? a chicken? Has Sy been talking to your son? It must have been Sy that put that in his head.<BR/><BR/>Have you started with hot flashes? I think mine have kicked in...and, my moods are moving in another direction than my mind...which leads my mouth to 'head South' *sigh*Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735085699153339257.post-19362086055026198492008-09-16T04:15:00.000+01:002008-09-16T04:15:00.000+01:00Too funnny...mine are already making Christmas lis...Too funnny...mine are already making Christmas lists AND thinking about birthday's in January/February/March of NEXT year! Umm...Oh-Kaaay...LOL Chickens huh?! Mine are just fascinated with horses which I obviously living in the suburbs can not have...Enjoyed Pierce B...although he ruined his sex appeal for me with that ad!! <BR/><BR/>Farrah from...<BR/>www.wifeandmomof3.net<BR/>www.tbfreviews.wordpress.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735085699153339257.post-82345677675297831082008-09-16T00:43:00.000+01:002008-09-16T00:43:00.000+01:00I thoroughly enjoyed your fun, warm, and loving po...I thoroughly enjoyed your fun, warm, and loving post, Mrs. T. Master Benedict's requests are adorable. I can imagine him having a living Chicken as a pet. Loving the little thing until one dark day, he becomes bored with it or it starts driving everyone crazy with its cock-a-doodle-do noises and the like.<BR/><BR/>Moments later, "WHACK!" Off goes the chicken's head, feathers, and voila! Mrs. T has prepared a scrumptious chicken dish for the Turley family. Talk about value in a chicken! I hear they are excellent for target practice too - but that's a little too dangerous for a seven-year old. Or worse, placing a gun in the hands of Mrs. T can be a little scary as she repeatedly shoots the dead bird over and over as she vents her frustration and laughs with glee. No, not a good idea. Don't buy the chicken!<BR/><BR/>Fortunately, I've never had any horror stories with any nutters or anything that shouldn't be in a swimming pool. I am not traumatized yet so I shall remain confident in swimming wherever I please.M.K. Louiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09346556486635748885noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735085699153339257.post-65804058414875979752008-09-14T06:21:00.000+01:002008-09-14T06:21:00.000+01:00You did this post just for me and Bette Middler???...You did this post just for me and Bette Middler???<BR/><BR/>Chickens?? (yeh, they ARE good!)<BR/><BR/>You are a gift, and a genius.Speedcat Hollydalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01207240842689917922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735085699153339257.post-41648648080332290922008-09-12T00:10:00.000+01:002008-09-12T00:10:00.000+01:00L'Oreal Vita Lift goes on the FACE???? Not the......L'Oreal Vita Lift goes on the FACE???? Not the...well...you know, it is cheaper then viagra, so when I didnt get any real "firm" results, I just figured it was the cheaper younger brother of viagra, and therefore was rubbish. Just finding that out alone has made me empty my stomach in to the local jacuzzi.<BR/><BR/>Tell me...where do you live again? I think we may have passed in the corridoor. I was the one with a pale face and holding my stomach with an embarrased look. Sorry ladies...truly I am.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735085699153339257.post-19769641163333816422008-09-11T10:19:00.000+01:002008-09-11T10:19:00.000+01:00AH HA! So that explains your appearance PB! And I ...AH HA! So that explains your appearance PB! And I just thought you'd stood too close to the barbecue...<BR/><BR/>Well I shall have to recommend it to Mrs Nutter when I see her next. Somehow I feel sure that we will meet again... in fact it is very possible she is stalking me at this moment (Mrs T looks cautiously around) but PB not only do I have a jar of L'oreal Vita face Lift to protect me from sudden outbursts...I also have my flame thrower...Jane Turleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01441332018679664175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735085699153339257.post-18509957540767918412008-09-11T09:32:00.000+01:002008-09-11T09:32:00.000+01:00This blog is full of life-changing revelations. A...This blog is full of life-changing revelations. Are you absolutely sure this <I>L'Oreal Vita Lift for Men</I> tonic has to be rubbed into the skin? Every day for years, I've been swallowing two teaspoons after breakfast and wondering why my wrinkles were getting worse, rather than better. Now, I know: as things get tighter inside, the outside is getting baggier by contrast.<BR/><BR/>This might also explain the constipation and why, although I might look younger on the inside, Pierce has grown to look younger on the outside. There was a time he looked so much older than me.<BR/><BR/>As for your friend in the pool (I know she may not be your friend, but you're certainly her friend and will be every time she sees you walking down the street, sitting in a cafe or pulling on your bathing hat) --- as for your friend in the pool, just slip her a teaspoon or two of <I>L'Oreal Vita Lift for Men</I> and the spa will never need to be cleaned after she's been in it again.Paul Burmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03794317430080282991noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735085699153339257.post-37417289752654860982008-09-10T22:44:00.000+01:002008-09-10T22:44:00.000+01:00Hmm..that is worrying. Maybe Mrs Nutter has more g...Hmm..that is worrying. Maybe Mrs Nutter has more gastro problems than I would care to mention....<BR/><BR/>Yippy-Do Mrs A! If you are 34, I must be 29?? O Hurrah! My spirits are lifting already. (The alcohol is also taking effect.)<BR/><BR/>That is worrying suggestion about Mr Tennant. Perhaps he could be persuaded to model Calvin Kleins instead? I feel sure they would sell like hot cakes...<BR/><BR/>Well I do like a man with a gun but sonic screwdrivers... I hear they're magic Mrs A... They can do wonderful things for women...OOOOOOo Ahhhhhhhh the very thought....<BR/><BR/>Yes, you did mention you had tickets for Hamlet. How much grovelling to I need to do to get one???Jane Turleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01441332018679664175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735085699153339257.post-25659136537300201042008-09-10T22:33:00.000+01:002008-09-10T22:33:00.000+01:00That jacuzzi is ALWAYS closed for cleaning...Hmmmm...That jacuzzi is ALWAYS closed for cleaning...Hmmmm...<BR/><BR/>My boys are desperate to keep chickens as well. What are they teaching them in these schools? It's not going to happen for reasons identical to those you state. <BR/><BR/>Thing is Mrs T, your numerical age and your biological age are not the same at all, and I have done the test and find I am actually 34. So I won't be looking for a way to get the Stannah round the dogleg in the grand staircase any time soon. (Can they do ones that go round corners?)<BR/><BR/>I think your ad is much better. Gets to the point nice and quickly and delivers same message as the actual one, but doesnt concern itself with subtlety or suggestion. Either way the upshot is that certain women will buy their husbands VitaLift in the hope they will turn into Pierce. (I shall make no remarks about pigs and lipstick.) Apparently D Tennant is negotiatiating a feature film of Dr Who, so he'll probably be doing the L'Oreal ads soon anyway. Who needs guns when there is a sonic screwdriver about?<BR/>Did I mention I've got tickets for Hamlet? Did I?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com